Train of thought...

Boy! Oh Boy!

2011-08-29T01:54:00.009-04:00

Earthquake. Hurricane. Tornado watch. Tropical Storm. Floods.

And all in the past one week.

'Irene' is no stranger to you, I guess. It's on TV everywhere. Now that it has passed, people are complaining that the whole thing was too much hype about nothing. I say, better safe than sorry. What if it was the other way round - what if everybody took it easy and it turned out to be your worst nightmare? Over-prepared is better than caught unawares. And give the govt. a break people. Those who mock now would just as easily lash out at the govt if it had turned out any different.

Amidst all this, it was amusing to note that my one concern was power outage. I wondered how we had sailed through all those many cyclones and thunderstorms in India, where the power cut was your uninvited guest. And then I realised what was so different. Internet and equipment.

Telephone was the good old dependable thing that didn't need charge to work. Of course, poles would snap and one would be dragged into a shouting match. The telephone was surely not to be blamed for that.

No iPods, iPhones or Laptops. My idea of entertainment was either 'Anthyakshari' with my sibs or playing cards with my parents. The next best thing was listening to my grandfather lecture about the good old times. And now look at who is talking!

My mom would always finish her cooking before the power cuts. The only piece of kitchen equipment that was tied to the power cut was the mixer-grinder. Now, in my kitchen everything is lifeless without electricity - fridge, stove, oven, mixie, blender, toaster, gridle, deep fryer and what not.

We have a well in our home in India. So it was not scary to think of surviving a power cut that lasted two/three days. That is so not the case here. No power = No pump to push the water up to our first floor apartment. Think of those skyscrapers in NY City.

Of course, like I said, it wasn't as awful in our place, as was predicted. Millions of people along the east coast who had it much worse are still without power, their streets flooded and transportation halted. Some are trapped on Islands.

It was my first earthquake, hurricane and tornado watch. Earthquake was many miles away, we only felt it mildly. The sofa did a short dance, and my roof gave it company. Hurricane was gentle on us, so I won't complain. And the tornado watch only gave me nightmares. So there. I hope Mother Nature will rest for the rest of 2011. Just give us a lovely autumn and an easy winter please??

Ciao!!

That Voice.

2011-08-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

I fell in love with my voice today. Because it helped me keep myself awake after a long tiring day.

No, I did not yell at anyone. ;) I spent the drive home playing anthyakshari in the car with myself. A tone and decibel level that I would never use outside the 4 closed doors and windows of the car.

What? Are there no bathroom singers? I am a moving-car singer. :D I should remember to put that in my google+ 'bragging rights'.

It is important that I make a note of this because, if you had read this post here, then you would know how I feel about my voice. For I may not feel this good again. But of course, anyone who spends an hour singing their favorite Lata-Kishore-Mukesh-Rafi songs, would like their voice, be it any kind. Especially Kishore kumar's songs. For they give you the freedom to yoodle. :D

During my brief stint learning music - I only ever wanted to learn to play Veena but my teacher refused to teach me unless I learn vocal too. Of course you need not guess how that ended - I stopped learning both after a couple of years.

What was I saying - yes, during that brief stint, my teacher tried real hard to convince me that my voice did not sound as weird as I thought it was. I think she might have even convinced me if we had more time. She taught both my sisters (who have wonderful voices), and maybe she thought somewhere behind my ugly duckling of a voice hid one of melody. I don't know.

I do know that I definitely do not like my electronic voice. So don't ever record and play me back my tones. Ever.

Admit it. The title confused you didn't it? Thankfully, no voices in the head and things don't talk to me. Although the same can not be said about me talking to things. ;)

Hello!

2011-07-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

Hello! Is it me you are looking for :D

I haven't really missed blogging, which is alarming, but I have missed commenting on your blogs. I have stayed up to date, thanks to reader, however couldn't participate due to time constraints (read thinking every weekend that the next week will be disastrous) and bodily constraints (no I am not tied to a bed, yet. But I can not guarantee my sanity at the end of two more years. On a side note, I am 90% done mending my teeth and gums and bones and everything associated with the dentist. And yes, they offered me a bed. :D perks of being a regular contributor to the expansion of their coffers).

Something is weird with blogger and it won't let me opt for left or right align. So central it shall be.

Are you enjoying your summer? I hope you are. Atleast it would be comforting to know someone is. I have managed to stay away from getting completely burnt; survived at least one heat stroke that I can document, and ten that I feel come pretty close; managed to walk around like a zombie every time I visited the dentist; and almost lost my mind over the work that I was supposed to have completed instead of embracing my zombie state. Oh, and also got a soft kick from my Prof. That about sums up my summer.

I badly badly want to go berry picking.

And drink tons of cool beverages. And have ice cream on a stick.

Go out and pose mindlessly for photographs.

Learn swimming again.

Go to the beach and feel the warm sand slip through my toes, and the cool breeze on my face.

This was my list before summer started. And fall is almost here and I have managed not to do even one single thing mentioned above.

How was your summer? Better than mine I hope.

All's Well...

2011-05-10T16:39:00.000-04:00

that ends well. Provided you come out at least a little wiser, it not unscathed. :D

Yes. That is me beaming. My performance in the exam yesterday was a total 180 from where I feared I would be. It was so good to be done with that, and better yet to have done good. I feel liberated, a huge block of stone slid off of my brain, and I now have total control of my thoughts again.

Seriously. You have no idea how terrified I was. Or maybe you do.

Thank you for your support and kind words. You played a sweet role in my happiness :)

I still have another week of exams and submissions, but this time I am not going crazy. These I can handle.

I have been thinking this morning, why I let that exam get under my nerves. I am yet to come with one conclusive answer. It seems more like a compound attack of different things that I neglected to notice. I will never let that happen to me again.

Everybody was super thrilled to be done with the exam yesterday. Apparently, I wasn't alone in my misery. It wasn't a tough subject, it was just vast and unpredictable. In spite of my having previous experience in the subject, it amazed me how much more there was to know.

Hope you had a good start of the week too! Its a lovely day here, and I am basking in the sunshine and enjoying the company of buzzing bees and clear blue skies. And lots and lots of pollen, seed and you-name-it floating around. Even without allergies, they are annoying. But yet, truly humbling.

Unfortunately, the seeds I planted did not survive those rapidly changing temperatures we had a little while ago. They all sprouted leaves and were doing well till then... I might also have been a wee bit lax in my care.. I now have barely 4 of them left. Very sad. I will have to buy seedlings this year. I like waking up to a balcony of beautiful colors.

Have you started gardening? My day lilies are growing strong and I can't wait for the flowers!

I Am Still Here

2011-05-08T20:01:00.004-04:00

Dear Universe,

Its me again. I am still here, older by one year, one mighty head wiser.
Please be kind to me for I have learnt my lesson.

I now know that it is useless to wander into research without a solid goal in mind. Sometimes, even with the goal, you need a sense of direction. And I have been so lost.

I have hammered on to the walls of my brain not to put off till the-day-after-tomorrow, something that I should have done yesterday, just because there is still a lot of time. Time, I see, has a tricky way of sneaking up on me.

I solemnly swear never to call myself a 'researcher' in vain, until and unless I learn to be one with dignity and common sense. A lot of the latter, dash of the former.

I promise I will never download every other paper that I find interesting unless I know I will have time to read them all. Or, hang onto that one sentence in that one paper that I read a week ago that I would like to use now. Now being when the deadline is just sitting on my head.

I know I have drawn too much from my stock of white lies for this semester, and I swear, cross my heart, that I will strive to be more disciplined and avoid putting myself into tricky spots. I will find me some balance.

Lesson learnt. Do not let my limbs find pleasure kicking my backside now, for I know they want to.

Sigh!

Regretfully yours,

This not-so-little-girl-with-oh-so-sad-a-face.

**

I am not yet done with my exams. This has been one long grueling ordeal this time. Partly due to my negligence and partly 'cos I can be plain stupid sometimes. I will be back. Soon. I promise. Thanks for sticking by me.

Nothing and Everything

2011-05-01T20:02:00.005-04:00

** The following opinions are expressed by my deadline-fighting brain. I may or may not agree with it at the moment. I may or may not do an about turn, later **

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything in the Universe. - JOHN MUIR

Have you ever marveled at the inter-connectivity that is our life? It's like we all live in a small pond, ripples reflecting our decisions.

Everything you do has an effect on somebody's life, including yours.You chose to do nothing, and it still is important, in the whole scheme of things. The ever changing, effervescent Universe.

There is no escape. Or is it that this scheme of things was designed to make us feel the importance of 'being'? Of self-discipline?

Right and wrong. Good and bad. But why! All the poets, writers and narrators have not forgotten the in-between. The grey areas of life. The white lies. The useless, bitter truths. This is where lies the true test of man.

I ponder upon the myriad intricacies of being nothing and everything.

**
I have been buried in my duties as a student. Probably because this is the last semester that I have exams, submissions etc, and I got carried away trying to do a 'good' job. I now have almost a 100 worthless research papers to read, and catalog, and include in my submission. I am also prone to intense moments of disorientation where nothing I am doing makes sense, and I feel generally kind of lost. This is the first ever time this has happened to me, and I am fighting for dear life to get back on track.

Hence the disclaimer.

Be back soon.

Dear Universe,

2011-04-29T01:29:00.001-04:00

I want a big, playful and loving dog.

But before that, I need some space - like a huge backyard.

Enter into the picture, me buying my dream home. One that comes with a spacious backyard and front yard.

This will have to wait till we both settle down and get stable jobs.

Which can only happen once I finish my studies.

So, all I really want, desperately need, and fervently pray for, is to finish my exams for this semester soon. With good grades. That is imperative.

I Believe

2011-04-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

- that there is beauty in everybody. Of course, you do have to be willing to see.

- that one has to keep an open heart as well as an open mind. For, both are like parachutes.

- that people can and do change. Even if they do not realize it.

- that it is OK to be distracted and then find your way back to the task in hand.The important thing being the second part - build some zeal for the task.

- that God is kind. Karma of course, gets back at you with a vengeance ;)

- that someday, I will achieve my destiny. But until then, I can keep changing it as much as I want.

- it doesn't matter whether or not you like something. As long as you believe in its importance. Its all in the bigger picture, my friend.

- that sometimes, all it takes is a little patience. Everybody is entitled to their bad days.

- that I can keep smiling, 'cos I believe this phase will pass. The worst is over, there can only be good times ahead.

What do you believe in?

Did You Learn To Type?

2011-04-26T15:54:00.001-04:00

The world's last typewriter factory has closed its doors.

And now, I so badly want one!

The vacation after my tenth grade, I spent learning to type. Unlike my peers, who were all obsessed with computers. We had just bought our own computer that year, and I was pretty good at the keyboard. But, I still wanted to learn to type. I had fiddled with the typewriter at my father's office many times before, and I loved (still do) the little 'ting' it lets out when it reaches the end of the row.

The class I choose was a short walk from home. The elderly gentleman who taught us was quite impatient. I still think he had no love for the machine, just the money it brought. There never was a word of encouragement, and he used to treat his wife harshly, which was enough to make me dislike him. I never got beyond paragraphs, maybe he was to blame. Or maybe it was just me.

I always did associate typewriters with underpaid clerks and overly conscious writer, the one from reality and the other from movies.

My father still treats the computer keyboard like he treats the type-writer. The point of 'feather touch' was quite lost to him after years of typing away at his office. And that is one memory that always makes me smile. Me telling my dad he doesn't have to hammer away at the keyboard. And him grimacing every time I tell him. :)

Have you any memories associated with the typewriter? Do you want one?

I sure hope I will find one when I have the proper place for it. My husband wants a Gramaphone, I want the typewriter, we both want so much vintage stuff ... I guess we will have to wait for when we find a home big enough for our tastes. :) I hope they all don't become extinct by then.

What's With The News?

2011-04-25T22:06:00.008-04:00

What is with the news, but really?

Before, news meant the evening or the morning editions of newspapers or 12-hourly broadcasts on the radio, written tastefully, detailing something of interest that had already happened.

Then came the news channels on the TV. Remember N.E.W.S on DD? Every night we would wait eagerly to see what had happened.

The advent of 24 hour news channels on cable was met with surprise and apprehension by the elders in my family, and dismay by my mother and me. Was it not enough that we had to spend one hour per day watching the news? Were we to be tortured the whole day!!!

My grandfather and father soon tired of the 24 hour news. Especially because of all the lame things that were being categorised as 'sensational', 'breaking news', 'headlines' etc etc, for want of real news. Breaking indeed. They broke my poor grandfather's heart, for being a journalist himself, he had high hopes for the expansion of the news network. He imagined a place and spot for all those important news items, well written articles, that he had to refuse - as an editor, for want of space. Alas! He was disgusted with the lack of detail where it was rightfully due and the suffocating, unwanted details for 'news' that wasn't even worthy of that moniker. And the repetition! Enough to drive one mad with fury.

I think I get my love for the printed word from my grandfather. He would always recall his days as a journalist fondly, and regale us with anecdotes about his stints in the various departments of the newspaper.

As if that wasn't enough of an ordeal, now we have news being created, bred, secretly guarded, and let out in bits and pieces supposedly to keep the viewers glued to their screens. What does it matter if they are unable to move, terror stricken at the gross disdain that news channels show towards the common man? The attitude seems to be 'You shall see what I show' and not 'I shall show what you want to see'. I refuse to watch it. I do.

And now, I am being deprived of the guilty pleasure I derive from reading the online editions. Ask me why. I am sure you know the answer already. Every time I click on the link to an interesting article, mentally preparing myself to read it, a video pops up. REALLY??!! Why am I being forced to see what I want to read? Agreed a picture can speak a thousand words, but I am not sure a video speaks in the same language.

Oh. Oh! Let's not forget 'the week that is going to be'. Now we present to you what is going to happen in the future. And if it happens, we shall rub in our predictions till you wish we weren't born. And if it doesn't happen, we shall mince our words, and present to you an altered truth. Of course, you misunderstood us! Everything is news.

Why is there a dearth of the written word? Why can't I be let in peace to READ an article of news? And then, as if this is not enough blasphemy, we now have 'twitter' and 'facebook' reviews. The week, day, hour, minute, second that has been on twitter. No. I refuse to be the landfill where you can dump whatever you want.

Give me back my written article. Give me back my review of really important news. There are so many life changing things of wide-spread impact happening. And I am not speaking of the royal wedding. I do not want to know if there is a doll, pizza, broom or cheese stick made to commemorate the wedding. I definitely do not give a damn if they got the ear, nose, mouth or hairstyle wrong of the royal couple. argh..

Does anybody else find this frustrating?

I Miss...

2011-04-24T20:29:00.000-04:00

... colorful paper boats on little rivulets of rain water.

... puddle jumping with friends.

... crazily driving my two wheeler up and down the streets of Visakhapatnam, unmindful of the pouring rain.

... stopping at a tea stall, soaked to the skin, to have some hot chai with mirapakaya bajji (big fat green chilli).

... being at the above mentioned tea stall, discussing the weather with like-minded strangers, just because you didn't have anywhere else to be.

... being at the beach while its raining. If you have never done it, it is just beyond words.

... my mom-made hot, spicy pakoda, and ginger chai.

... the smell when the summer rains quench the thirst of hot baked earth. how wonderful!

... holding on to the umbrella for dear life, wondering whether you or the inanimate thing would be the first to fly away. [yes, once upon a time I was that thin].

... chasing after said umbrella when it decides to call it quits. And of course, letting it go and find its own destiny.

... replaying the mental GPS reminding oneself which lanes would most likely be flooded, which wouldn't and thus need not be avoided.

... when above mentioned GPS fails, wondering how in the world to drive across that little sea of water, and praying desperately that your bike won't die on you.

... when the bike does die, embarrassingly trying to push that which is more than 3 times your weight, proudly refusing to look around for help.

ah.. I miss the Indian monsoons.

Its raining here, after a wonderful sunny day. Hence the unfettered nostalgia. :)

And I miss my dear bike. Driving a car in the rain, is not even close to being any fun. Its a chore and a bore.

For Want Of a Title..

2011-04-22T23:40:00.001-04:00

.. a post was lost.

Well, not entirely. But pretty close.

It is hard to think straight with a nagging toothache. And for the record, never ever attempt to get three root canal treatments done in one day. Take it from me, absolutely run away if those three happen to be on the same side of the mouth. On second thoughts, maybe that's not so bad at all. At least I have the use of the other half, when I can manage to pry open my groaning jaws.

I am watching one of my favorite telugu movies. But I realise now, I have watched it so many times, I even know the dialogs by heart. And the costumes. And even the settings. Like there is a particular bookshelf in one of the scenes that I really like. Or the skirt that the heroine wears in one of the songs. Pretty awesome.

I remember asking my sister as a kid, how was it that heroines managed to change their costumes in few seconds. And such elaborate ones at that. Well, that was the age when I didn't know anything about video cameras. My sister painstakingly explained to me the making of motion pictures. :)

I think I once even wanted to be a model, just so that I could wear all those endless number of shoes. I am not crazy about clothes, at least not as much as shoes. :D

What are your oldest memories of going to the movies?

My sisters swear I always tortured them to take me with them, armed with my water bottle and handkerchief. I was always the excess baggage, and I pity them now when I think of it. Poor things suffered at my hands so ;)

Every couple has some opposite interests. In our case, I am the nagging whisperer in the movie halls, whereas Prasanth gets so immersed in the movie, he hates being disturbed. And he also gets horribly embarrassed when I whisper. :(

My friends and I would pick the topmost, corner seats and gossip away during the movie. Of course, we never were too loud to cause disturbance to others. And isn't the main point of watching movies entertainment? How can I not comment on a hero's new look, or a heroine's saturated make up? And lets not forget the gorgeous European cities that they chose for the long boring songs. Europe's always been one of my dream destinations. :)

Where I say 'Thank You'

2011-04-21T00:03:00.010-04:00

I haven't done this in a while, and today just seems the perfect day (Wednesday) to write about tomorrow (Thursday) Although, to be precise, it is thursday already, time-wise.

There was sun today. Need I say more? Mother Nature's new apprentice, the one responsible for NJ has finally figured out that we are desperate for sunshine, and would thank her if it were a little less cold. But of course, she might (most certainly, for there's rain in the forecast tomorrow) change her mind tomorrow, so let me thank her today. For I shall think about the lovely evening I spent in my balcony till the next time we have clear skies, and gentle breeze.
My day lilies are all alive, and have multiplied over the winter. In case you didn't know, I love my own little patch of green, and I can not wait for them to bud and bloom.
I feel so calm, and peaceful and content today. I do. Maybe the sun does that to you. Or it might just be that I finally got around to doing the chores at home that I kept putting off.
Thursday, I will be done with one more of my dentist appointments. Ticking off those dates gives me happiness. ;) Of course, if I don't post an update soon, you know where to send your condolences.
There was good news from home. My second sister, the one in India, might finally make it to USA this summer for a visit that is long due. The very idea that I might get to meet her and my darling nephews, after 3 long years, is gleeful.
Last week was truly spring week. Lots of colorful blossoms everywhere. This week, I get to see my favorite color in different shades (if you live in NJ, green would be your favorite color too. you just can't help it after the torturous winters). It is a truly heart warming when the trees sprout leaves. 'cos you know that they know when good times coming.
I think Mr. Sun is the highlight of this post. I really should stop going bonkers whenever there is sunshine. Soon enough (hopefully) summer will be here, and I promise not to then complain 'how hot it is!' - at least not on the blog :D
My birthday is less than a fortnight from today. I am not jumping around gleefully telling myself that 'happy birthday' is nearing,. And that itself, is something to thank the Gods for. Instead, I am hoping that this birthday, this year, would bring me the much needed change careerwise.
I am thankful for all my blog friends. Like I was telling Pramoda here, the face of friendship has changed. I am glad I chose to be part of this. And I am glad you are here to keep me company.
I would also like to thank you, you and even you, for patiently reading my posts and commenting. Or silently reading my posts and not commenting. Or just lurking around to see if I would come up with something that would truly interest you to comment. I am up for the challenge. Just saying.

What are you thankful today for?

What does it mean to be 'An Indian Woman'?

2011-04-19T23:24:00.001-04:00

I read this blog post a week ago- http://neoindian.org/2011/04/07/as-an-indian-woman-how-do-you-feel-when-you-drink-water/ -and I can not get it out of my mind.

I think that article was supposed to be satirical and humorous. But it got me seriously thinking - what does it mean to be an 'Indian woman'?

I haven't found the answer yet. It reminds me so much of that psycho-analysis question someone used to interest the audience at a seminar a long time ago. It began with -

Who are You?

I am Rohini. But that is only the name given by your family.

I am human. But that just classifies you as homo sapien. Who are 'YOU'?

I am a woman. But that is only your gender.

I am an Indian. But that is your nationality.

And so on and so forth it goes. This question about an 'Indian woman' makes me feel the same way.

Does it make me more Indian to wear a saree? Does it make me any less if I wear jeans?

How does a big bindi pertain to me being Indian? It only tells that I am a Hindu.

And I detest big bindi's anyway. I think they only look good on the silver screen, and not everyone can swing it in real life, unlike Usha Uthup.

Does not sporting a big bindi make me any less of a Hindu? How about a teeny weeny one, which is what I usually like?

And lets not even talk about the mangalsutra.

All Indian women are not Hindus, you know. So that argument is biased and baseless anyways.

So what does it really mean to be an Indian woman? How does it delineate me from the American, British or European women?

I haven't found the answer it. I think it probably is a mix of everything - of the Indian culture, of the religious spirit, of the ethics and morals that define our society. And more importantly of the constant need to balance being modern and seeking solace in tradition. And I think that definitely reflects in our blogs.

What do you say?

Would You Say Good Bye?

2011-04-19T00:03:00.001-04:00

I once saw a friend steer away from the good path, which might have ended up causing his mother misery. I intervened and brought it to its speedy end. The result would have been the same either way, but I think my intervention caused him problems he had foreseen, but was not prepared for.

He is happy now, but after that he stopped talking to me, responding to my mails, answering my calls. He never even said 'Good Bye' to me. I do not know if his then lover-now wife is behind it. I hope not. I know now that he is on the same continent, we still have the same circle of friends. And I can not bring myself to forgive him or forget it. Sometimes, I do forgive him, but I can not forget it. Or vice-versa.

He was a good friend. I tried to help him, and help I did, maybe not in the way he had imagined. I do not regret what I did, but I would have appreciated a 'Good Bye'. Friends owe friends at least that much, don't you think?.

I have a small circle of close friends. A really small circle. I could count them on my fingers, and I might probably not need more than one hand. I am friendly with a lot of people, but these close friends are the ones I am most in touch with. That I hold close to my heart. He was one of them. Maybe that is why it hurts so much more.

Come to think of it, this has happened to me once before too. A good friend of mine - this time a girl - decided to elope with her boyfriend, just few weeks before her wedding was all set with another guy. When I pleaded with her not to do this to her family, and to talk it out with them, her boyfriend decided I was not healthy to their relationship. And he made her stay away from me. But at least, she had the sense to say good bye. So I wished her well. I think of her often. But I have no clue what she is doing now.

I realize I have been on the other side of the fence as well. Treated friends badly when they tried to make me see some sense - but then I was a hot headed teenager. That is a good excuse right? And I have reached out to them later and apologized thanks to social networking. That was not so easy as you might think :)

Weekend People.

2011-04-17T23:44:00.003-04:00

Everyone who comes to live in the States, makes some space for change. But the most radical of them, is the 'weekend concept'.

Parties of all kinds - birthdays, anniversaries, baby showers, get together's- wait for the weekend. You wait for the weekend to meet people, even if they live next door. You make acquaintances, and you tell them 'We should meet one weekend'. Or you talk to friends over the phone and say 'let's catch up over the weekend, I am awfully busy right now'. You promise your mom to spend atleast one hour on the phone with her on saturday morning.You depend on those two days that come at the end of the work week to do your shopping be it groceries or clothes, books or gadgets, food or service.

It takes a while getting used to this weekend culture, but you don't have a choice. Your work week starts Monday morning anywhere between 4-7 am and ends at Friday night somewhere between 5-8 pm. For me, college means I come home only after 10.30. Neither do you have the time to entertain during the week, nor is there anybody to give you company - even if you are a stay-at-home mom, a working-from-home dad (which is worse, I tell you) or a little kid. For, even the little kiddos birthday parties, sleepovers and pizza times are delegated to the saturday-sunday timeframe.

I miss being able to head to the bazaar whenever I want to - you still can go to the mall here during the week, but the best deals are over the weekend. They are smart. They know when people will be more inclined to shop. And the suggestion isn't lost on you. Heck yeah! I can wait for the weekend to find me a deal worth the wait.

I abhor the long queues that greet you ever place you go to during the weekend. If you are lucky, you won't get the express check out lane intruded upon by people with multiple carts loaded with tons of stuff. Otherwise, you have wait till they finish checking out the stuff for the whole family and then some, before you can buy your two packs of milk and bread. Oh Wait! Some weekends, there won't be enough milk to buy either. And you have to wait for them to restock - of course, which I never do. I hate having to pay and wait.

Even God has to wait for you to make time over the weekend to pay Him a visit. And considering the temple I go to is a 45-minute drive that drags and become 60+ over the weekend, oh yeah. Unlike The Holy Hills of Tirumala Tirupathi, Lord Venkateswara in America sees an influx of people almost every weekend. His Hundi multiplies many fold in the span of those 48 hours. The choicest naivedyams are reserved for the weekend too!

I miss the comfort of the temple tradition. On Ugadi, I so badly wanted to listen to the panchanga sravanam. I could not attend Sri Sita Rama Kalyanam on Sri Rama Navami. And I never could step into the temple during the holy month of Dushera.

Ah! The joy if a festival falls over the weekend!! In India I was one of them who whined about it - loss of a public holiday. But in America it is the gain of a holy-day, a day when I can actually visit the temple during the auspicious hours and not days later.

I was talking to my sister, the one who lives in India, and my heart grew jealous, when she recounted how busy her week was with parties and get together's and lots of shopping. My nephews are enjoying their vacation now, and they are having so much fun all through the week, and relaxing over the weekend.Of course, a picture in contrast, my other sister who lives in America, is hard to get hold of over the weekend - she has a huge circle of friends, and is always always busy every weekend with stuff involving meeting, eating, and shopping.

Now, my present student life often involves taking exams over the weekend. I need not paint a picture of how awful it has been for my husband.

Sigh. That is the way of our weekend life.

Another week starts. And the next weekend is only 5 days away. :D

If You Haven't Erred

2011-04-16T11:00:00.009-04:00

...Then You Haven't Lived.

I spent the other night in a state of intense frustration. I had work that needed to be completed, but my mind wouldn't stick to it. It kept revolving around all the problems I had; not pausing to think whether they are minor or major; causing me agony by replaying every single mistake I have made in my life, big and small. I could see all the paths I had taken, the choices I have made that were wrong, that were misinformed and misdirected. My mind wouldn't let me alone.

I fought my inner battle that night. Being alone, it was long and bitter. Every time that my heart asked 'What have I done to deserve my misery?', my mind replayed all that I have erred in. Unable to bear it anymore, seeking a distraction I opened my blog and kept staring at it, aimlessly.

Out came this quote from that little widget I have on the right 'If you haven't erred, you haven't lived. And then followed a couple more quotes from supposedly famous people about mistakes and regrets, and how focusing on those can suck the life out of you. There were some names I recognized - Swami Vivekananda, Gandhi, Mark Twain.. etc etc.

I haven't lived a regret-free life always. But I do not always brood over my mistakes either. I do tell people that all the choices in my life have been mine. And I am proud of my mistakes because they make me what I am. But sometimes, you think, there was a choice you made that took you down a path you could have lived your entire life without having to tread on. Did it have to happen for you to be the wiser? Maybe.

Some people go through their life without having lived it in real. Never diverting off the straight line, not knowing what it is to ponder over the course of their life. Yes, I have made mistakes in my life, but I think I am often happy I made them (that is when I am not frustrated/depressed about them). So much the better for me. Better late than never and all that stuff.

I watched my neighbor call the cops on her daughter the next morning. She had no choice. Her daughter had some problems - I am not sure which, but I know depression was one, coupled with self-mutilation. That day, she was spiraling downwards and was threatening her own life. Her mother had to institutionalize her for her own good.

I am not really friends with them. But when you see them everyday, you can not but notice what's happening. This daughter is very young and smokes a lot. But that day, she shed all her inhibitions and was bawling in front of everybody, begging her mother not to send her with the cops. My heart went out to the mother. She was in tears herself, and she was explaining to the cops and the medical officers about her fears for her daughter. She had to do it for the sake of her child.

Sometimes, as a parent you have to make tough decisions. Especially when you see your child making mistakes. Sometimes you have to let the mistakes play out, so that your ward can learn from the. But in some cases you have to step in.

My father did, once. And it led to a bitter battle between us for a while. I take after him when it comes to resolve. We both wouldn't budge, driving my mother crazy. Of course, he was saner and wiser compared to the teenage me. I shudder to think what would have happened if he hadn't stepped in. And eventually I realised my folly and begged him to talk with me. He has always given us our freedom, molding us into fiercely independent yet sensible women (we are three sisters, and a bro), allowing us to make our own choices, satisfied to be in the passenger seat.. and sometimes 'back-seat driving'. But of course that is part of being a parent I guess. I am blessed that he is mine.

Miss you Dad.

Come to think of it, my life, so far hasn't been all that bad. I have had the sense to stay away from drugs, from addictions of all kinds and violence. I have always had a close circle of friends. I love my family, and I am blessed with a loving extended family. My soul-mate is a caring, understanding guy who goes out of his way to make me comfortable. Yes, we are going through a rough patch, but hey, the worse is over. I am doing something I love and have always wanted to do - my PhD and that comes with some sacrifices. What more can you ask?

Its ok. Its my life. And I love it. All the mistakes, hardships, bitter truths, heartbreaks and inconveniences included. Bring it on!

Do Not Burst That Bubble

2011-04-10T19:45:00.002-04:00

No. I am not talking about my carefully nurtured bubble of procrastination.. nor the thin, transparent bubble of denial I cherish, to keep the guilt away.

I am talking about the bubble people make after chewing a piece of bubble gum for what seems like eternity, very resembling a herbivore we all know of.

And why am I talking about this? Have patience. All in due time.

I got a hair cut last week. Which is inconsequential on its own, except that I love my now short hair, but I also miss the hair that was long before that. But I digress.

So, I went to the hairdresser, if I can call them that. Its a retail chain, and they are quite efficient (I love their shampoos.. oh AND I can smell the products that they use.Who wouldn't want to come out with hair smelling like.. erm.. something. I don't know what the smell is, but I can definitely tell you its pleasant.)

But this time, the lady in whose hands I put my hair, scared the daylights out of me.

She was Mexican. Not that I have anything against Mexicans, they are very hard working people and I admire their resilience, but I think an American (or even an Indian) would never do what she did. The whole 20 minutes that I was there, she kept chewing on her bubble gum and blowing bubbles. I would not have bothered about it, only I had scary visions all the time of the bubble bursting just when she was close to my hair... of the gum entangling in my hair... of messy gummy hair.. of them frantically searching for an ice cube... of me being left with a mushroom cut or a pixie cut. You get the picture right?

I am not to blame for that am I? It was very unprofessional. A dull day, that too a lazy Sunday does not warrant that she blow bubbles while doing my hair. I was the only customer when I entered. I did not pay to have frightening visions of gum stuck in my hair.

I now wish I had politely asked her to stop blowing bubbles. But that just felt so silly at that time. "Excuse me, my dear barber. But could you please stop bubbling your gum? You are scaring me and I am worried that it will end up in my hair". Now that doesn't sound so bad now, but at that time, I tell you, it felt very very childish.

I wonder what her response would have been.

And no. I do not have gum in my hair.

And I never could blow a bubble out of bubble gum. I tried. A lot.

:)

I Dislike what you Like.

2011-04-07T23:05:00.003-04:00

I am absolutely dismayed at the lack of Facebook etiquette displayed by some people. How is it that they do not realise that Facebook is public? It is not private, it is not a friend's club. What you post/comment is seen by everybody on your/their friends list. These are just some simple 'DO NOT's that I want to share with you.

DO NOT -

Share news that is not yours to share - whether it be somebody's romance, relationship, breakup, marriage or pregnancy. You might know it, does not mean they are ready to share it with the whole of their Facebook world. It might be true, but it is not your choice to make.

Try not to comment on somebody's photo in a very disparaging way. You might call them lovingly as, say, 'popcorn' or 'hotdog' but I don't think they want the whole world to know that. Nicknames are for personal conversations. Nothing on Facebook other than messages are personal. And even those are not 'safe' - it is up to the discretion of the person you send it to.

Post a very personal status update and then be embarrassed by the reactions/comments/criticism that people respond with. But do it by all means if you want to gloat, or seek all that attention.

Post something that will make sense only to you. And think that nobody would be interested in it. And smirk/grin/wink when people want to know more. Or do it purposely so that people will want to know more. That is the height of narcissism.

Write something and then 'like' what you have written. Maybe once in a while this is pardonable, when it is indeed news worth being happy about. However, do it for everything. and that probably means you just jumped off the cliff. I pity you. I pity that you feel you have to lead the way to 'liking', that you like what you have written so much that you have to 'like' it, even if you have written something that you dislike.

Randomly hit 'like' whether or not something deserves it. How did you miss the fact that it is not appropriate to like everything. [you 'like' that I am disappointed with my grades? or that I fell down the stairs????] Grow some grey matter, seriously! If you want something to stand for 'I have been here, and seen this', then there are better ways. like a 'hi''oh' 'hello' 'howdy'. 'Like' is not an easy way out - it does not cover you being too lazy to type.

Only always like something that somebody posts and never ever initiate/extend a conversation. That just makes you look like a silent creepy follower. It also shows that you are not personally interested in that person beyond 'liking' him/her. Then why be 'friends' in the first place? I am not a number in your friends list.

Tag people in random, meaningless pictures or apps. I, for one, absolutely hate being tagged in places where there isn't my face, nose or even a finger for that matter. I do not want to know if I am your top follower, I do not want to know your numerology, and I definitely do not want to be part of a high school prank.

Take snippets of a personal conversation or something said in confidence and post it on your Facebook profile. That is equivalent to a breach of trust whether or not you intend it to be. And it just sucks to be the person who said it. Some random stranger is gossiping about your dark dark secret. How does that make you feel? I know you are talking about me, you know you are talking about me. Isn't that enough to be embarrassed?

The meanest thing you could do is post compromising videos/photos. Just because you have a photo with my face in it does not mean you own it nor does it mean you can do whatever you want with it.

Send repeatedly friend requests or messages to people who might have once been in your class ten years ago. Be practical, just because the name sounds familiar, or it says you are from my school, I will not add you. I will not feel guilty about not adding you. I will not even venture to find out more about you. And if by chance I do remember who you are, I may not be interested in you anymore than I was in our social science teacher.

If I ignored your request, did not respond to your message even after you have sent it twice, that just means I am not interested in you. Live with it.

We have all learnt [apparently blogger has not learnt that the word 'learnt' exists. Go goggle it blogger] to live with the fact that nothing is private anymore. But we tend to forget it every now and then. We tend to squash any remaining semblance of privacy with our own hands. Indeed, the world is a smaller place. But we still can chose how to live in it.

p.s - if you have didn't think twice before doing anything of the above, I am not intentionally mean to you. I just can't take it anymore that people need to be always told these simple things, that they take my privacy for granted; that they do not realize how much they are imposing/intruding into another person's life.

The Mystery of The Yellow Mattress - III

2011-03-29T13:37:00.002-04:00

A Pot of Gold.

Sonya was surprised. She carefully pulled off the mattress cover, and she could have sworn her eyes popped out of their sockets. Money! rows and rows of bright green, crinkly bills. She had never seen so much money at one place. They looked a lot like the bills Mama brought from the bank. but they somehow smelt different. She knew Mama would never put them there. And that only left the Guy with the Blue Car.

Now why would somebody hide money in their mattress?

She fetched Mama, who looked at all that money doubtfully. They both decided to call for Uncle Bob.

Uncle Bob was astonished when they he was told the whole story. He then thought for a long time, and then brought home more of his friends. Of course, with so many grown ups around, Sonya and Mishka had to bide their time in their own room. But Sonya was not be left behind, she had keen ears, and she quietly listened to all that was going.

Oh what an adventure was unfurling in her living room. A bank robbery! Stolen Money. Fake money. Stuffed into a Mattress. Nobody knew the guy, Mama only knew his name was Andrew. Or so he said. Sonya felt like she was transported into a case of Famous Five or Nancy Drew. She couldn't decide which. She was alone, it would be more similar to Nancy Drew. But she loved Famous Five and all their adventures.

Her mind was buzzing so fast, nothing made sense. She thought what her literary friends would do. But of course! They would follow him. Only she had no car, no cycle and no friends. Difficult.

The adults were all discussing their options. She was spinning a story in her own head too. This guy Andrew, with his blue car, trunk full of money stolen from the bank. He wants to get away, only he can not travel with so much money. So, as he goes to the library to get books - no. that would be too lame. Why would a robber need books? Instead lets say, as he goes to the library to browse the web, he sees Mama's poster 'For Sale'.

He probably thought he could bury the money in the mattress and make his escape. But by now, the whole neighborhood was being patrolled. He had no way out. So he came back, and left the mattress. Now, what did Mama say? Didn't she say he would come back for it?

Sonya thought hard. Uncle Bob and his friends were constantly talking on their walkies and dusting things. They did not seem to be close to the story like she thought. Well, maybe their Papa did not buy them detective books like hers' did. She decided she needed to go out and tell them.

She stepped out bravely. Mishka was long asleep. Mama sat at the dining table mixing cups of coffee, talking to a sketch artist. She knew how it worked. Papa had shown her so many times. She would describe her friends, teachers and papa would draw them perfectly. He had told her how to concentrate and notice their distinguishing features. "A nose is not simply a nose", he had said. "Everybody's nose is different". She missed him. She wished she had seen a glimpse of him. At least his nose.

Uncle Bob was nowhere to be seen. She began to search for him resolutely. He had been Papa's best friend when he was on the job, and she knew she could trust him. She knew Papa trusted him. He did not brush her aside like other grown ups. He listened.

She found Uncle Bob near his patrol car outside. He was surprised.

"Sonya! It is past your bedtime. How come you are up and about this late? You should try to sleep", he said.

"Uncle Bob. I have something to tell you. I know what happened, and I have a clue.", she said.

"Well, we are hard pressed for clues right now. Let's hear it out big girl." That's what he always called her. Big girl. Just like Papa.

"Remember how I told you a car almost ran us over?"

"Yes. You blamed it for your rendezvous with the puddle.I know."

"It is the same car, Uncle Bob. The car had this yellow mattress behind, and that was why the driver couldn't see us. I think he was in such a hurry because he saw you. He hid all the money from the robbery and mixed in his own fake money. That is why it smells so weird, your friend told me. I was thinking, why don't we wait for him to come back tomorrow? He might be too far to notice that we know his secret. And he told Mama he would be back."

"Darling. Your dad would have been so proud of you. My thoughts were on the same lines. Remind me to buy you some more of your favorite books.", he winked.

Sonya felt her cheeks redden. She was proud. But she also felt terribly small in front of all the cops.

"Let's go see how the sketch is coming along".

The Sketch.

Sonya looked astonished. She had every reason to be. She knew the guy in the sketch. At least, she had seen him. Just outside of 'Sweet Treats' three blocks away. They had the best buns in town, especially Cinnamon buns. She had been there with Mishka after school. Mama let her buy something there once a week. Uncle Joe who stood behind the counter was very kind and Aunt Emma always gave her a little something for Momo. They knew that everyone in their family, including the dog, had a sweet tooth and a soft spot for their Cinna Buns.

She tugged at Uncle Bob's pants and told him. "I saw him outside Uncle Joe's in the evening. He was sitting there with a newspaper and a big book when we went in. He was there even when we came out of Uncle Joe's. I remember him because Momo had barked at him, and he was very cross with her. She wouldn't stand down, and he didn't help."

Uncle Bob was happy with this tip. He sent somebody to talk to Uncle Joe or the shops near him to see if anybody recognized him. As they took the sketch that Mama had helped with, Sonya stopped them.

"What's wrong?", Uncle Bob asked.

"It's the nose.", Sonya said. "The nose is all wrong. His nose was pointed, alright, but it had a dent in the middle and was little bent to the left." She had been a good student to Papa. She knew every nose was different. And she had seen this nose.

The artist smiled at her. Mama messed up her hair lovingly. And Uncle Bob. Well he just promised her one more novel. Sonya was happy. She had been able to help with the case. She now knew Andrew or whatever his real name was. She had seen his face. And she seldom forgot a face.

The nose, the face and the mattress.

Uncle Bob came home the next day. It was the weekend and they were tidying up after last night. They had taken away the mattress and smelly money, but they had left behind muddy footprints, messed up the garden and drank copious amounts of coffee. Sonya was still excited. And she was happy to see Uncle Bob.

She was thrilled to see the books in his hand as he came close. She dare not speculate what they were. But she wanted to know what happened to that Andrew guy.

"You have no idea how your 'nose' helped us Sonya. Doctor David saw the poster in the morning and recognized the crooked nose. By stroke of luck he was at Uncle Joe's for his morning croissant and he saw the nose. I mean the face, the poster."

"It seems, this young man was at his office just the other day, wanting to have surgery performed on his nose. He had acute sinus, and the bone was all bent and messed up. David told him that it wasn't something they could do on the go, that it would take a couple of sessions. And he would have to come back and get it checked up regularly. Apparently, this was not to Andrew's liking - for that is his real name. And he left after making quite the scene and asking to see another doctor. He had given his real address and other information for insurance and so we tracked him down in no time."

"Your recollection of the nose actually helped us end the case Sonya. My captain was very amused to hear this, and he has put in your name for a reward. 'We need such clever, smart and brave kids' were his exact words."

'Your papa would have been so proud. I know I am. And as promised, I have brought you your books".

Sonya was overjoyed when she took it from him. She couldn't thank him enough. She gave him a big tight hug. Tears welled up in her eyes when she realized he had bought those exact editions that were missing in her collection. Papa had promised to buy them for her, but after his death, she couldn't bring herself to ask Mama. And it was painful. She wondered if Uncle Bob knew, or it was just coincidence.

"Come on Sonya", Mama called from the car. "Let's get you your new mattress".

The Mystery of The Yellow Mattress - II

2011-03-29T13:03:00.001-04:00

A Mud Bath.

Sonya was undecided for a split second. There was no fence at the spot they stood, but a huge puddle of muddy water stared at them unpleasantly. On the other hand, the turning was too far to run to, and there was no time! The blue car was almost upon them, and Mishka was simply staring at it while Momo was tugging at her leash.

With grim determination - grim enough for all of her ten years - she caught Mishka and jumped into the mini lake of mud. She was very annoyed and she wished her mom had not put a blanket ban on swearing. Not that it would have mattered, for the driver was already beyond hearing. She looked down - in spite of their galoshes and having landed on her feet, there were big muddy splotches all over her clothes. And her hands. And possibly her hair. Mama would be so mad.

Wait! Where was Mishka. She had let go her hand trying to balance herself. She looked around to find a perfectly happy Mishka, as she sat in the mud, playing with her new playmate - a slimy frog that seemed to enjoy their intrusion into her homeland. Ew. Trust Mishka to make friends with the weirdest of creatures. Momo sat looking at the frog in a half puzzled half jealous way.

Amusing as it was, she felt responsible. Just as they made their way out of the puddle, Mishka having said her goodbye to the ugly frog, she heard a screeching noise and something blue flickered past her. It took her few seconds to realise it was the same blue car. She wondered why he was in such a hurry first to go one way and dashing away the opposite direction the very next second. She was glad they didn't have to repeat their maneuver all over again. Now for the short walk home, before the mud begins to cake.

At home.

She heard a familiar sound behind her - the siren of Uncle Bob's black and white. Ever since Papa passed away last year, Uncle Bob kept a watchful eye on them when he was in the neighborhood. There he was, looking curiously at their mud smeared countenance. Sonya quickly explained to Uncle Bob lest he think they had done it on purpose. He laughed heartily and offered them a lift home. She was glad for one, but did not wish to spoil his car. Uncle Bob said the car had been through worse, it wouldn't mind.

Off they went, uphill. It was a short drive for their house was only a couple of blocks away. Uncle Bob told them to be careful today, for there were extra patrol cars in their neighborhood and something was up. She nodded on behalf of Mishka and Momo too.

They drove up to their home, only to find the blue car driving off in the opposite direction. Sonya quickly pointed the car, but before Uncle Bob could look at it or the driver, it took a turn and was gone. She had had enough of the car for one day. But she wondered what it was doing in her lane, and also where was that mattress?

She was surprised to find her mom at home. Mama was early, and that was such a treat in itself!

"Sonya! What have you been doing", Mama exclaimed sure enough. Sonya was embarrassed. She tried so hard not to cause Mama trouble and to take care of Mishka and Momo. It was the least she could do. Mama worked so hard at the library all day.

She explained to Mama and turned to go to the washroom and tidy up. Oh! What did she find barring her way, but that yellow mattress. Of course it was familiar, it was HER yellow mattress!

"Mama, why is this mattress outside? I saw something just like this on the blue car that caused us so much trouble.", she asked.

"Oh Sonya. Don't you remember? I promised to get you a new one, as it is too small for you and Mishka.". Sonya nodded. Mishka loved to cuddle up to her and sleep, one hand on her favorite blankie. It was getting tight in there, with Momo jumping in once in a while.

"So I put it up for sale on a poster in the library. A young man offered to buy it. He came with me. Now I remember, his car was blue. He paid after carefully inspecting the mattress for ten minutes. He was gone, and then he was back in a few minutes saying something's come up and he needed to keep the mattress here till tomorrow. I agreed. You can use it till he comes back. I will get you a bigger mattress this week."

Sonya loved how Mama told her everything. They had a mutual understanding to treat each other as adults. Mama knew she could depend on Sonya. Sonya was proud of that.

She freshened up, had her dinner. Mishka was playing in her room. Sonya moved the mattress to a more 'out of the way' position. They had decided it was too much of a hassle to carry it into the room. As she made her bed, and got on it, something crinkled. She thought it was another bug of Mishka's. But no, the sound was like paper.

Sonya took off the sheets and looked carefully. The sound seemed to be coming from inside the mattress!

The Mystery of The Yellow Mattress

2011-03-28T11:19:00.003-04:00

The little girl, Her little sister, and their littler dog.

It was a crystal clear blue sky that looked over the bunch of schoolgirls playing soccer on the lush green field. The grass was still soggy from the benevolent shower it received that morning, but the girl's didn't care. In fact, they proudly went home, skin and dress plastered alike with mud, grass and bruises. Live to tell the tale another day or rather, play the game another evening. Unlike the boys they were not allowed to play football when it actually rained, but hey, this was good nevertheless.

A little girl stood on the boundary, her eyes following each and every player, every dancing move of the ball. She let out little sighs whenever someone fell, slid or jumped into a pool of slushy mud - do not misinterpret her sigh to be born out of concern towards the person. No, she sighed for she was being kept away from the game, by herself. If she managed to somehow pursue the team to let her in, in spite of her short stature, she still had something against her - her little sister and their littler 'hot-dog' dog. It was tough enough being a little person and garnishing some respect, their dog Momo had no chance at all. Sometimes it just seemed to know when someone was making fun of it, especially the neighborhood boys. You could see she smelt it - she would stretch her already stretched self and bare her teeth, with low growls serving the background score. It was amusing.

She let out another sigh, she did, little Sonya. It was time to gather her 'tail' and head home. Their mom would be coming anytime soon, and she would be very unhappy not finding them there.

The Little Blue Car.

"Come on darling, its time to go home", she said to her little sister Mishka. Mishka gave her the sweetest smile, and put down the dandelions she was blowing. Sonya wondered what she was wishing for. Her sister was too young - just 3 - and too innocent. She loved Mishka, even before she was born. She had always wanted a little sister - she saw the trouble her friends had with their little brothers. No, she prayed every day for a little sister. And her joy knew no bounds when a very tired looking mom, and hassled dad bought Mishka home. Something was wrong with her, they told her later. But Sonya thought she was perfect. She had the sweetest smile, the kindest eyes and she was everyone's pet. She would follow her Sonya everywhere, and she perfectly understood what Sonya said. In fact, Mama sometimes had trouble getting through to Mishka. Mishka then had the most serious look on her face which would instantly disappear on seeing Sonya.

She took her sister's hand, and Momo's leash and guided them onto the crosswalk. Spring was giving way to summer and there were sweet smells in the air. She was only 10 and she was going to be a 'tween soon, whatever that meant. She was shorter than most girls in her class, and hence left out of the interesting games. Mama patiently explained to her every time she felt depressed about it. Mama was tall, taller than most grown ups. How could Mama know what it meant to be small? But Mama showed her her pictures when she was young - a little kid of her own age. Sonya was so surprised to see that Mama then was short too! Shortest girl in her class pics. That gave her some courage, but she desperately wanted to grow tall soon.

Her train of thought was interrupted by Momo's harsh barking. She felt Mishka's hand tightening in hers, and she knew something was wrong. She looked around to see what was bothering them. A Little blue car, looking very much like an over sized toy, was on the horizon uphill. It was in reverse and pretty fast too. Sonya wondered why her skin had goosebumps. That definitely meant trouble. Then she saw. She saw that the driver couldn't see. He had a huge yellow mattress that looked vaguely familiar, at the back of his car and it was blocking his view. More importantly, it was blocking his view of THEM, for he was partly on the footpath where they were walking, and HE didn't seem to notice that.

To be Continued.
Come back.

Just A Reminder

2011-03-27T23:00:00.003-04:00

Life.

show up

follow your heart

get a new perspective

have a sense of wonder

find people you love

set goals

help others

dance

pamper yourself

face your fears

go to a museum

exercise

limit television

get in touch with nature

lighten up

get a good night's sleep

read books

buy yourself flowers

don't compare with others

don't beat yourself up

be open to new ideas

don't focus on the negatives

focus on creating what you desire

make time to have fun

keep the romance in your life

make a gratitude list

love mother earth

want what you have

be true to yourself

I do not know about you, but I need to remind myself of these periodically. :)

Good bye to the weekend. Say hello to a bright new week.

Marriage - Mirage

2011-03-24T12:39:00.024-04:00

This week my marriage turned 3.

Our's is an arranged marriage. And each and every single time that I have shared this information with a stranger, I have received some singularly spectacular responses ranging from - 'Was it painful?', 'Is it difficult?', 'how could you' to 'ah.. I wouldn't have penned you for an arranged marriage kind', 'Really? how interesting'. After 3 years you would think I would have gotten used to it. But it still annoys me.

Why do people think an arranged marriage is somehow more painful than a love marriage? As if all love marriages result in happy couples or long relationships, or can you say for sure that people who have first fallen in love and then marry, have a guaranteed stress-free or fight-free marriage? Why is the failure of every arranged marriage blamed on the fact that it was 'arranged' with a twitch of the nose, and a look in the eyes? And I never really can fathom why it is equated with the 'slave trade', 'sheep race', 'parade of slaves' and even to being a whore for getting into bed with a complete stranger. No, I am not making these up. These are the words from perfectly civilized youth of this millennium. And it pains me to have to hear that.

Now, do not get me wrong, I am not saying the whole system of an arranged marriage is without its faults. It is. But so is the system of a love marriage. In every case the success of a marriage depends on the people involved - the husband and the wife.

People have a problem with the 'match-making' process, the bride-seeing process, the groom-finding process. Basically they have a problem with the whole process. Often I find it horribly biased.

For example, there is a reason why the whole of the groom's family goes to visit the whole of the bride's family. Because, a marriage is not limited to the wife and the husband, but it also involves the families. Is it not important to see how the family dynamics are, how they behave with each other, how they treat others and especially how they treat each other?

Coming to the bride-seeing and groom-finding process. Ok. Let's talk about the scenario were you date somebody, or even start to date somebody. In this networking era, it almost always starts on the internet - unless its a college romance, or an office alliance. Does it not start with two strangers? Does it not involve striking them off if they do not meet your criteria after the second date or whatever? Why should it be any different in an arranged marriage? Why then is it likened to a slave trade, a fish market and other choicest words? Because parents and families are involved. How is my home any less a place to meet a guy than parks or restaurants!

Now coming to the 'getting in bed with a complete stranger' part - which I find utterly ridiculous and naive, and very much influenced by the Indian movie industry. Nobody - no sane person, as far as I know - jumps onto the 'first night' bed with his wife as seen in those movies, or invites her husband to have sex on the very first day of their relationship together - if they were perfect strangers to each other. It only happens with mutual consent when they reach that stage in their relationship. Just in case you didn't know that part.

As far as I know, in modern times at least, girls do have the freedom to chose their husband - EVEN IF ITS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE. The arranged part pertains to the pre screening that the families do to determine whether their dear child's prospective life-partner fits into their culture, their family, their lifestyle or whatever their choices are in this regard. Don't you have choices when you start dating? would you go out on a date with an illiterate pompous ass who has only his family wealth and no education or no stable job? No relationship starts under pressure or ignorance. If there is a family that forces their son/daughter to marry someone that they do not like, well, it is their fault - the family is at fault for not thinking straight, the guy/girl is at fault for not standing up for themselves while making the most important decision in their life. Why generalise it?

I chose my husband - not my father, not my mother. I chose the person I felt I was most compatible with. I chose him because in the three hours that I spoke with him, I knew he would bring order to the chaos in my world. He would be my anchor. I just knew. It felt right. I met my husband for the first time a week before the wedding day. yup. I was crazy. we spoke on the phone in jan, and got married (at least this time we both were there in person) in march. In those crazy couple of months, I came to know his faults and he came to know I wasn't exactly an easy person to be with. If I had chosen to back out of the match, I am sure my family would have been on my side without any questions. As they were with me, with my decision to marry a person I hadn't even met - they hadn't even met. And now, I love him like crazy. So should my love for him be discounted just because it started differently?

A marriage - whether love or arranged - is influenced by the options the couple lay down for themselves, by their choices, their preferences, their temperament and their compatibility. There is no guarantee in any case - why do love marriages fail, where does the love disappear, why do arranged marriages fail - where is the family support? No one system is infallible. It works, and then it doesn't. Everything boils down to the husband and the wife. Compromise has to be made in either case, love has to prevail in either case. And sometimes, love is also not enough.

Whether 'love or arranged', a marriage is not predictable. You might search for decades and never find the soul mate you are looking for - for nobody is perfect. You might just see the one match your parents found for you, and decide he is the right person - as right as he can be for you. You might have a long happily married life in either case - the risks are the same, the problems are the same. And you are the same person. Love might make you blind, but a marriage will bring you to reality. Arranged marriages will not be of much help if you and your husband do not work out the dynamics of your relationship.

I can not stress enough - YOU are the only person that can make or break a marriage. It does not depend on whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage. YOU have to take the plunge and sink or swim on the strength of your heart and soul.

And that is all I have to say about this.

Be Kind.

2011-03-12T20:19:00.000-05:00

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
~Mark Twain

But apparently it is also something that the normal, sane, educated, civilised person choses to ignore.

I am forever surprised at the lack of gratitude that people show to simple acts of kindness. And we call ourselves 'modern' and 'literate' and other choicest words.

All it takes is a small smile, a nod of the head, a little word 'thank you'. You may not mean it from the bottom of the heart - if that is the case - but atleast it tells the other person that you noticed his/her act of kindness.

Small things matter. Someone holds the door open for you not because they are duty-bound but just because of their good breeding. Someone lets you get ahead in the queue just because they think they can afford to wait those few extra minutes. Or someone lets you get on to the road, even when you are on the wrong, 'cos they obviously have a better sense of right. All these small acts, done out of habit, or consideration for the other person, deserve a little word of 'thanks'.

I wonder if it is just lack of good manners or total disregard for courtesy. I have often found the people on the receiving end of such simple acts of kindness chose to ignore them, not even make eye contact and take full advantage of it. You hold the door open for someone, and the next person or persons in line just walk out of the door, without as much as a look at you, making you feel totally like an unpaid doorman (don't you think even a paid doorman needs some acknowledgment? he is human indeed and not a door fixture!). Incredibly guilty I say.

Be kind to the fellow man. You are not parting with your money, just a few words. Put your ego on the hold for few seconds.

Kiricket

2011-03-10T11:09:00.001-05:00

That's cricket for you.

This has been in my drafts for a while now. I do not know much about cricket - nothing more than the average spectator - the ball, the bat, the runs, the very many different ways a batsman might be out etc etc. I do not know the technical jargon, and I definitely do not know enough to pass judgement.

But that has never stopped me from enjoying a good game. Especially if its the Indian team in play. I will walk away from a mediocre match, I would not even bother to find out the result. But I am drawn in to the drama, the heartbreak, the endless discussions on how someone could have done it better.

In India, cricket is part of every household. Every body has an opinion, and everybody is entitled to it. There is rarely a match when every one is satisfied. And that sows the seed for interesting discussions. I got drawn in to these discussions, 'cos I never wanted to be left out in school when the topic came. Or in parties.

My mom and dad love to watch every match that India plays. My dad has been known to occasionally root for other teams, but it is always India. first That is the status of Cricket in India. And that is the aura of excitement that surrounds it. It brings the family together. We cheered every six, we had our own cricket superstitions, we wept every time the team came close only to hand over victory to the other team. Oh! Our opinion on what should be done was nothing less compared to all those qualified commentators, or unqualified reporters.

But I have realised that without all these - my family to enjoy with, my relatives trying to fix up the match with superstitions 'if I move from this place, sachin tendulkar will be out', my friends to talk over the game the next day, 'The Hindu' sports section to read every detail and relive the action, or shake my head at the 'wrong' opinion of the writer... without all these, without India to enjoy it with, I do not much like cricket.

It is no fun watching it alone. I have not watched a single cricket match since I left India.

And I know now, why cricket is such a religion in India. For it brings families, friends and even strangers together.. for we forge bonds and etch memories over every ball bowled, every run missed. I think this is true for every sport - cricket, baseball, soccer or hockey.

The View From The Other Lane

2011-03-08T12:21:00.000-05:00

If you are anything like me, then you hate driving in the slow lane. In the three years that I started driving, I have always stuck to the fast lane, always over the speed limit. Either that or the middle lane. But never the slow lane.

However, my present new car is a very old car. And considering its age, I do not want to test the strength of those old bones. It taunts me though with its 6 cylinders, and every time I put my foot on the accelerator, my heart yearns to push it faster and further.

So, last night, as I made the torturous journey home in the slow lane (can't forget that), I thought about the think positive post. Here goes nothing...

The slow lane has its advantages you know. Like, you can watch the world go past you, and contemplate on how to slow it down. Puts things in perspective, for you and the car.
The whole 'watching your odometer so as not to push the car to its limit' and 'wincing every time the car groans' might be cathartic. Probably for the car. Definitely not for me.
If I was any less strong hearted, I could have abandoned the car when my feet came dangerously close to being frozen, for the heat panel was not backlit and I had no way of knowing whether I had the heat on or the AC. Ouch. But no, I was in the slow lane remember. So, I just bit my lip, pulled over and figured it out. Which I have never ever done before. Pulling over onto the shoulder from the fast lane is a hassle.
I should probably tell you all bloggers, that driving in the other lane will do wonders to your blog. You can write, edit and re-write any blog post, any number of times. You can paint mental images of all the things your blog could be. For all you have is time.
All you have to do is to be between the lines. How hard can that be? For, you can go so slow that no one would follow you and you wouldn't be fast enough to follow anybody. Best bargain ever.
There are advantages to being the lonely car on the highway, in the slow lane. You don't ever have to look at the mirrors, for there is nothing on the road but you. You can admire the patchwork on the road, the twists and turns and the bumps.
You never ever have to worry about being ticketed by the cop - except of course you go too slow and block traffic.
And then, given that all the sign posts are towards the slow lane, you would never ever miss an exit. Never have to go to the next one, and panic that your GPS won't start in time. Never have to fiddle with the GPS while driving. How cool is that!
You can give more than a passing look at the other cars that got ticketed or have their hazard lights on. You can actually stare at any car going on the other lanes, satisfy your curiousity, and get to know the brands better.

The view from the other lane is a lot different. Kind of like life.

This Day...

2011-03-07T10:59:00.000-05:00

.. is like any other day.

I will not hate this day.

I will not crib this day.

I will not talk about how this day is making everyone moody.

I will not give this day power over my life.

This day is like any other day. And that is how I will treat it.

-- Monday morning blues seem to have infested blogger today. I woke up feeling pathetic that it was a monday morning already, that I have to fight this monday and every other monday to come, alone, for a while. However, I read about ten different blog posts - some random and some that I follow regularly, all on the same theme - monday morning, and how we hate it.

So when the universe is sending you the message so loud and clear you got to do something about it.

It is a gorgeous day today. There's sunshine after a cold and rain-filled weekend. There's the prospect of getting out of the house and going to college. Inspite of the fact that I have some massive backlogs - for everything seems to be moving slowly in the absence of my husband - I am looking forward to the change, and all the good things this week will bring.

If you are at the end of your monday, I hope it was a good one. If you are starting your day reading this post, then I hope you will have a fun-filled day.


Spring is right around the corner. Wish harder. My garden daisies, two springs ago.

Think Positive.

This Is Going to Hurt Just a Little Bit

2011-02-22T23:49:00.000-05:00

THIS IS GOING TO HURT JUST A LITTLE BIT - by Ogden Nash

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest,

so hard to retain calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line

or some other important line in your palm,

So hard to give your ususal cheerful effect of benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on

And it is cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers

and there isn't a nerve on your head that aren't being irked on.

Oh some people are unfortunate to be worked on by thumbs,

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to being polished

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstances that adds to your terror

Is that it's all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you do when try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror,

and forget that left is right and vice versa

And then at last he says, That will be all,

but it isn't because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something I suspect is generally used to put shine a horse's hoof,

And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's over now and after all it was only this once,

And he says come back in three monce.

And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition

is so that he won't have to go the dentist.

For all that you ever wanted to say about dentists, he has said it all.

I have to visit mine tomorrow. Need I say more?

This is a poem I studied in school, and you guessed it, fell in love immediately. I have bad teeth genes, and hence the fox-trot with the dentists started real young. As if that wasn't enough, I have had my share of bad dentists, and good escapes.

Wish me luck, will you.

Feed the Senses

2011-02-19T20:54:00.000-05:00

If you love descriptive writing, with a generous dose of humor blended in, you should check out Sharon Longworth. And when you do, you will be as convinced as I that she is an excellent writer. I thoroughly enjoy her writing style and her blog is one of my favorite haunts nowadays - another blog crush. :)

Imagine my surprise this morning, when I visited her new post and found an interesting coincidence - she is odor blind too and has penned her experience about it in a far more excellent way than I did.

Check it out. You are sure to fall in love with her.

For I Wish To Count my Blessings

2011-02-17T14:00:00.004-05:00


From my Garden 2010. Gotta love these.

Maybe not all of them, for that would be a very big post.

Today, there's sunshine (Not light. S-U-N. You can actually feel the sun today here. Which is in itself something to thank God for), there's signs of my garden plants coming to life, there's the option of getting some colorful flower seed.. eh what more do I need?!

I went back to see my only other 'things to thank thursday for' post. And I got to tell you, there are a lot many similarities!

-- I prayed last night for something to snap me out of my gloomy mindset. Viola! Today we have sunshine. Today might as well be the first day of spring for me. It really is not, but I got to open my windows for a period more than 5 minutes, I didn't have to hide myself in winter wear and I did not have to shiver before setting foot in the balcony. These on their own warranty this post. Coming from the hottest parts of India, you really do not realise the importance of sunshine till you have suffered through your first winter. Love it!

-- I have finished one year of study in the US of A. Of course, half of it was MS and half of it PhD. However, my learning curve is on the rise, and I have truly learnt a lot this year, not just academically. I now know to pace myself, set timetables (which is still a work in progress though) and more than everything - that I still have it in me.

-- It is again wedding season in India. I missed an important wedding in the family, and I have been bugging everyone to fill me in with the details. They aren't doing a great job at it though (not as good as I would be) but hey.. you got to take what you can get.

-- Not a day goes by without me thinking of my Grandfather.[That link will take you to a long post I had written about him - funny and sad]. This week, I found out that Providence with her kind eye introduced me to someone who reminds me of him so much.

-- And last but not least, this year I have published more posts already than the whole of last year total. Getting back my blogging mojo I hope :D

So now that the cobwebs in my brain have been cleared, I should get back to work. Thankful or not it is still thursday, and one more day off the calendar. Sigh.

Peace And Quiet

2011-02-13T21:28:00.001-05:00

In quiet places, reason abounds. Adlai Stevenson

Well, my mind right now is not such a place, sadly.

I am a talkative person, but I have my quiet times. At least times when I seek some peace and quiet all to myself, and just think or not think. Some time alone for my mind away from all infractions; time to renew and set itself in order.

Even otherwise, I think I do not like loudness intruding anywhere - I like my music at a comfortable level, it should leave me some room to think, talk or mull over the lyrics. I do not like brain-numbing-ear-drums-splitting decibel levels. Which my husband loves. Goes to prove opposites attract right?

I do not like people who talk loud all the time, loud not in decibel levels, but opinions. They will not think twice and they do not let you think even once. Phew!

Hope you get to start/end your week/day with peace and quiet.

Oh! And Happy Valentine's!

Nexted

2011-02-11T07:46:00.002-05:00

Have you ever tried the 'Next Blog' button on the NavBar? It has some weird data mining qualities built in.

For example, every time I try it from my own blog, it always takes me to numerous family blogs. I do enjoy reading the mildly interesting ones, which are few and far between truth be told. But some of them have too many details and too many pics. Something that really scares me.

I would never ever post semi-naked pics of my kids on the internet. For a fact, I would never ever post any pics of my kids on the internet. Call me paranoid if you will, but this day and age, you can never be really sure who has access to your photos. You might put in the strictest privacy/copyright settings, but it would always bother me that some pervert has access to photos of my kids. Damage done is done. Frankly speaking, I would never put pics of my own up there. uh huh. Nopes. Never. But I do have my pics on facebook {somebody please add 'facebook' to Blogger's dictionary) 'cos it makes me feel a lot more safer than putting it up on my blog. There is some semblance of privacy control right?

Ok, Back to nexting. If that is a thing. If its not it should be, 'cos it sure is a source of amusement to a lot of people including me. From family blogs, I wonder due to what weird word attachment, blogger takes me to religious blogs - of all kinds. Ranging from Christianity to Islam to Buddhism. And as if that wasn't weird enough it next decides I need lessons in foreign languages.

Have you had any interesting adventures Nexting? It definitely does not beat blog hopping though. But I think, the safest bet would be to try the Reader's explore option. Took me to some interesting blogs, for sure.

I Need. I Want. I Pray.

2011-02-10T19:30:00.002-05:00

I Need Me
Some Motivation,
Lot of Inspiration,
An ounce of Dedication,
And a bit of Salvation.

I Want Me
Some Determination,
Less of Frustration,
No time for Reflection,
Only always Action.

I Need Me
A pot of Imagination,
Some drops of Intuition,
Faith, of any Dimension,
And Hope, with no Competition.

I Do Not Want To Play With that Hairball

2011-02-08T23:56:00.002-05:00

In case you were wondering, you did read that right.

Hair that righfully belongs on your head, quits. en masse. And you are thus left staring at the ugly, unseemly mass of hair that is on the floor of your bathroom instead. Or clinging to your dress. Or finding its place in the weirdest corners of the room; ignoring the pleas of the sofa that does not want its company. Or the carpet for that matter.

My husband and I are just recovering from our ordeal with flu. And Flu my friend, is not be confused with the common cold. The common cold is not accompanied by cough, throat trouble; nor does it leave you with extreme fatigue. Fatigue that makes you want to simply hook yourself up to glucose, cuddle up and sleep.

The glucose is just not an exaggeration. It is so that you do not have to eat every two hours; invent recipes to eat for your taste buds are on strike; buy food to eat; cook food and eat; and most annoyingly, clean up after you eat. But I digress.

So now, when I am fresh out from the battle with the flu; when my whole body aches 'cos I drove it to college and back and actually survived it; my hair decides its had enough of this flu-infested-antibiotic-riddled routine.

As if it wasn't enough that I have to force myself to do what is minimally required to function, why do I have to fight the hair fight? Why is hair high-maintainance? Why can't it just function on its own? Why does it get tangled? (I forbid you. Do not think of the disney 'tangled'. Do Not.) Why should my elbows ache when I try to set my hair right? Why? Why?

For once, I envy the tonsured you. I do.

Of Strangers and Stereotypes

2011-02-01T14:28:00.003-05:00

Doesn't that say it all?

Two times in one day I have encountered them together.

A couple of my friends and I (all women) were standing outside our university building in the parking lot, 10 pm, bidding goodbye after class. There's this creepy looking car, with an equally creepy looking dude making rounds slowly around the parking lot.

Now, however insensitive you may be, at times like these, you are as alert as a rhinoceros (although they do have poor eyesight, so maybe that isn't the right comparison) And so were we. It really didn't help that that guy was a stranger, was dark skinned, and kept his eyes on us without even as much as a shadow of a smile.

Tell me sincerely, what are you supposed to think? Keep in mind that my university sits in the one of the most notorious cities of NJ called Newark.

Yup. We bolted. And called for the security.

The guard came to our assistance quite promptly, but imagine our surprise when he started laughing!! Turns out, that car belongs to the Security itself and its an undercover cop (university police) driving in an unmarked car, making rounds to see if everything is in order.

Eeesshhhh.. we were a bit embarrassed, but no one would blame us for being on the safe side. And that guy should have atleast waved at us.. or even a smile would have been reassuring. That's what we told him to do anyways.

On my way home, that very day, half an hour later, I came across a car and a driver (this time not creepy, but dangerous) driving hazardously on the highway. Now I say hazardously because, the guy was on the fast lane, driving at over a speed of 120kmph. And he was right in front of me. I kept my distance for few seconds, but it unnerved me that he was swerving unpredictably. My first thought was a drunk driver, and I carefully changed lanes.

But the very next minute, I was plagued by a sense of dread. What if the guy wasn't drunk? What if he was sick and in need of assistance? If only I had noticed or noted more details of the car, I would have called the traffic police. Wait. I did not know who to call. Nor did I know what to tell them once I called. "Hello! I am near exit 9 and there seems to be a guy who might be drunk or not, driving a car very much like a drunken monkey". What if he did indeed cause an accident?
I could have helped him or gotten him off the road and I could not.

I kept thinking of that car all the way home. I do not know what happened to it. I am sure there was no accident - for there was nothing in the news.

Two strangers and two stereotypes.

Are we biased towards stereotypes? They do have a wacky way of coming true you know, and our first instinct is always our safety. Some stereotypes are just plain funny - like how some Americans think that all Asians are smart people, there are no idiots in Asia. Or like how Asians think that all of America is rich and there are no poor, or crime, or even potholes.

What is true for the majority of the population is not always true for the rest. But maybe that is how stereotypes are formed?!

Have you met any strange stereotypes?

God Of Green Lights...

2011-01-26T15:09:00.000-05:00

You know that feeling when you are travelling on a long road interspersed generously with traffic lights, and once in a blue moon, all the traffic lights turn green.. just for you.. just in time for your car to escape the torturous wait at the 'delayed green' signal.. just in league with the beloved BMW before you and the honking, arrogant pickup guy behind you gets left out.. everything in symphony and everybody at peace..
no stagnant traffic and no one taking sudden left or right turns.. no need to even think of thinking of the brakes.

Peace. And harmony.

That happened to me the other day. The God Of Green lights was kind and generous to me that day. That day I did not get caught in traffic jams. I did not spend all those waiting minutes cursing the guy behind me who doesn't get the fact that high beam is meant only for lonely, dark country roads where yours is the only car and you won't blind the guy(or girl, like me) in front. I did not have to fiddle with my rear view mirror to avoid getting a blinding headache. I did not have to ponder over the course of my unpredictable future.. or wonder how the very many number of instances where I had to step on the break are similar to the very many hurdles in my path. Only the foot on the break is not mine.

Just for a minute I lost myself in that peaceful harmony of flowing cars. Ok. Maybe not a minute. More like 10 minutes. But the point is, at the end of that time I was at peace with myself. I was ok with the red light that separated me from the BMW. I was ok with the wait for the right moment, where the light turns green. Because I realised, if there were no red lights, there would be peace for those ten minutes. But there would be choas later for all those guys waiting at the crossroads.

Like they say, if everything comes your way, you are on the wrong side of the road.

Why are things not happening the way you want them to? Is the way of the universe much better or is It just messing with you. Probably the latter. But knowing is half the battle won. Good things will come your way. You just have to wait for the light to turn green.

God Of Green Lights, Thank you.

Create. Re-create. Terminate.

2011-01-23T23:42:00.004-05:00

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which one to keep.- Scott adams.

Being back to blogging is not as easy as it looks. I have at least ten drafts waiting to be finished and posted, at various states of completion. However, it bothers me that I am not able to pick one topic, stick to it and see it through. Every time I think something is worthy enough or good enough to be posted, I end up slashing and dashing it - too long, too short, too personal, too impersonal, rhetoric, poetic, apologetic. uff.... Makes me believe in this quote -

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense. - Pablo Picasso.

Indeed, nowadays I am plagued by the thought that nothing is good enough for my 'train of thought'.

I have a new found admiration for the painful process that every author - in the real or the web world - goes through before they finally publish their creation.

You have to only but look, and you see a world full of creative people - none of which is limited to the words. Pick a topic and somebody is sure to exist who will dazzle you with their creativity in it. Makes you wonder why you are a jack of all trades and a master of none. I can sew, embroider, knit (self-taught, might I add), crochet, draw, paint, sketch, color etc. generally am good with my fingers (typing aside)... But, if you ask me what I have created using one or all of the above - the list is pathetically small. quite negligible almost.

I start. I do not finish. And then I do not even start. I wonder is it initiative I lack, or time? or passion? or all.. or none. Or often it is the plague of 'good' as spoken of above.

Here's wishing I will make the time to create something other than a balefully somber future full of to-do lists.
Damn. Where did all the creativity disappear?

Blog Crush

2011-01-10T20:14:00.001-05:00

Through humor you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. - Bill Cosby.

Who doesn't love a good dose of humor? Something to laugh at, someone to laugh with.. and for a moment forget that your life is totally effed up.

My day today has been one such day where nothing that your mind thinks on its own is cheerful. On days like this, previously, I would turn to ED - Eternally Distracted - one of the best blogs in blogosphere that will surely make you crack up. However... when I was in my self imposed exile, ED said goodbye to her blog and us. She is terrific. Her blog is still there if you care to take a peek. Do not miss her stories about Mec (her companion) and Max (her pet). Absolutely hilarious. I hope her wee scottish granny is doing her rounds and tells her I miss her. Sigh..

Coming back to the matter in hand. Now that ED up and went, I have been looking for a someone I can laugh with. And today morn, fate brought her to my blog. Ladies and gentlemen let me present Just 4 Me. No. NOT just for me, her Blog is called Just for Me and that is also her pen (or should I say keyboard?) name. Check it out here.

In case you were wondering, she is not only blessed with a way with a knack of blending humor into everyday life, but also wording it amazingly. She loves to talk (like me!) and her blog posts are as long as mine (mine! mine!) and she doesn't care for a thing in the world except being happy. Lovely!

I have been stalking her blog all day.. and I thought I should post my latest blog crush and make it official, lest she label me a creepy stalker.

Dear J. I thank the lucky stars that brought you to my blog. I love that you are YOU in your blog - honest, funny, witty and caring. I already feel like I know you. And I hope I really get to know you. Stick around!

Know her here.

I am sure Partha sir would agree with me.

Mind The TimeTable.. Time the MindTable.

2011-01-08T20:09:00.004-05:00

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order, a timetable not necessarily perhaps not possibly chronological. It is the continuous thread of revelation.
-Welty, Eudora OneWriter's Beginnings, II.'Learning to See'.

I love this quote. It echoes my thoughts with respect to planning, timetable and order of things in general. Looking back at your life, you realize in spite of all the failed plans, broken promises or exhausted deadlines the things that matter all turned out ok. And the things that did not matter.. . well.. why fret about them anymore than needed.

Whether or not you wish it, the universe conspires with/against you as the circumstances prescribe and achieves its own end. You may like it. You may not. In the end everything happens for a reason. If you choose and you have the right frame of mind for it, you could play an active role in it. Or remain a spectator.

I find myself again and again incapable of sticking to a timetable of doing things - whether study related or otherwise. A part of me rebels at the thought of an order being imposed on my free thinking. Why not live life as it comes? Why should one plan and analyse every single detail of every single day and miss out on adventures in between?

I distinctly remember something that happened a couple of times in school, which my mom laughingly tells all her grandchildren. I never would remember the timetable for exams, nor remember to jot it down. I always bungled the order of science and social exams. I would go prepared to take the social exam.. but once in the exam hall the question paper would be that of science. Of course, I never once failed my exams and I actually would get more marks for the science exam in the end (I love science. always)

So you get the fair picture right. I have had trouble with timetables all my life. I never could plan out my study before the exams. While the rest of my classmates had the art of preparing for the exams down to a science of their own, I would go with the flow of neurons in my brain. Read what I felt like - Often Forsyth, Ludlum or Grisham.. so much so that my mom would issue a blanket ban before my exams towards any novel or magazine of any language

I have been deeply pondering the question of timetables and my own lack of discipline and planning. The verdict is that, I need to think more. For, so long their only impact or lack of was towards my studies, I did not suffer much. Till I got married.

And then things changed. I have to multitask. I have to be part homemaker and part student. Which in spite of a thoroughly helping husband is still tough to do. Part of you just wants to get buried in the textbook and the other part keeps screening pictures of dishes not done, laundry waiting or a living room worth running away from. Sigh.

I learnt it the hard way last semester.In lieu of this I have decided to go towards a more structured approach towards balancing my studies and the rest of the stuff in life. I do not want my studies or my husband.. or my blog to have to suffer this year. And hopefully with a bit of creativity I might be able to jump through this hoop of fire.

Any suggestions?

Its all about time management and multitasking.. and timetabling right? right??

Timetable - while the strict one can not be followed, the lax one you have made need not be followed. - brainstruck.com

Resolution - Dissolution

2011-01-04T18:19:00.000-05:00

So 4 days into the New Year and how does it feel? Like I am still waiting for the movie to start :)

I need to get back to work and I have n number of questions and problems. However my professors are on an extended vacation and will not be back till mid next week. grrrrrr.. their vacation started before Christmas. And is driving me crazy.

Hence the idle me sitting here thinking about what to do. And my thoughts bring me to the topic of resolutions. New Year resolutions.

Yesterday at the gym my trainer tells me that more than 10 people joined the gym on New Year's eve with the sole intent of getting back in shape, whatever shape it is that they have in mind.Which undoubtedly is part of their New Year's resolution. And he was amazed at how high their goals were and how narrow the path chosen. You can not neglect exercise for years and then one fine day join the gym and expect miracles. It doesn't work that way and it isn't healthy.

Unless you are blessed with a metabolism something akin to a incinerator, a lot of hard work goes into keeping fit and keeping the fat off. A lot of hard work and discipline. One I am good at. The other not so much. But I digress..

One of my resolutions this year - and there are many - is that I would exercise more often and strive to be more disciplined about it. There is a reason for that.

I was blessed with a wonderful metabolism up until I came to America. And then loads of cheese, pizza, lack of exercise and the harsh winters blew it off the track.

I am not one to count calories, or flinch before reaching for the food of my choice. That never bothered me in the 22 years of my life. But then, it did. And once it started, I wanted to put on weight. You gotta understand I was always underweight, all my life. And eat what I might, the fat just burned off! I never remember being fluffy or having rosy cheeks. Never. Although I wanted do. I lived for junk food, cream cheese and chocolates.

This was my chance to be that person that everybody always wanted me to be. But of course. It is easier to put fat on and a lot more tough to burn it off. I realised it a bit too late. I was confident that once I reached the optimum weight I could maintain it or reduce it as I wish. Heck, its all in my control right? wrong.

So long story short, now I have reached a stage where I do not want to put on any more weight and would be quite happy to lose some. On the border between being overweight and being fat (not that I have anything against fat people - I just don't want to be one. no offence alright.. put down that baton...)

And now.. my abs are sore from doing crunches, my legs ache from the all-out sessions that my trainer advised and I have butt pain. The best part is I feel good. I feel like I am regaining some control over my body. And I am delighted at all the good clothes I would fit in come next spring.

I am not diet conscious - although I try to eat healthy food. I just don't count my calories. I am a big foodie, I cook well and I am blessed with a husband who is a wonderful cook. I want to enjoy every meal of every day. I do not want to live on a mint leaf and rice cake. Not for me. For me exercising is more about being healthy than having that body. And there is nothing healthy about fat. Fat is like leftover junk clogging your pipes, lining your skin and totally messing with your future. But then I do not want to be the skinny me.. I want to look healthy and be there. So wish me luck

My New Year's Resolution is about Fat Dissolution. Whats yours?

find more such cartoons here

Wait Your Turn, You A*****e

2011-01-03T18:02:00.001-05:00

Ok. So you know I am not one to waste expletives, but this particular subject calls for it.

Its about them who are plain rude. And inconsiderate. Its about the menace of line-jumping. Of which I am sure all of us have had one or the other harsh experience.

My latest taste of it was at the temple on New Year's day. Unfortunately (no offence, God) this time we decided to pay a visit to the temple. And so did almost 90% of the Hindus residing in NJ I think. I am sure of it. The crowd at the temple stood second only to the crowd at Tirupathi. And they were unparalleled when it comes to rudeness.

As if that was not enough, we had our fair share of line jumpers. I swear, you would expect people to behave more civilized at least in divine company. But NO can do. Their primary objective was to either get INTO the temple or get OUT of it. And all they cared about was being ahead of somebody behind.

I say how is it fair? especially when there is a long line of people waiting for their turn, why can't you wait yours? How can you jump ahead of little kids, of old men, of the patient me chilling it out in 4 degree C?

Oh and they know what they are doing is wrong. They sure do. They can not look you in the eye, and just pretend to be deaf. And imagine the look of surprise on their face when someone calls them out. 'Who me? I did nothing wrong!'. Arghhhhhhhhhh... grrr..

I came across this article here - http://tastyresearch.com/2006/09/21/cutting-in-line/ - that claims to be academic research done by some guy. Gist of it being a study to see people's reaction to line jumping. Who lets whom do it, who fights it and who does it. What was more interesting and disgusting was the enthusiastic response of people to the article - some claimed it was their right, that they were not cattle (sure, cattle are better organised and have more sense of respect for their fellow cattle-beings), that this was their way of fighting capitalism (I am sure they have garbage for brain matter) and that they deserved better!!! speechless I say. Oh and they even had suggestions on how to do it and get away with it.

Honestly, what is wrong with you people?

If your case is so urgent, then I am sure if you plead it out people will let you move ahead in the line. In most cases, people already in the line are considerate and expect you be truthful. Waiting in a long line is a harrowing experience for each and every person in the line and line jumpers just make it worse in so many ways. And by urgent I mean if you have a baby crying her guts out, if you have an elderly person who can't wait it out.. if you are pregnant and your water broke..

You should not do it just because you can. If that is the case, do not call yourself civilized or deem yourself more dignified thanothers. You only got away with it 'cos somebody did not wish to make a scene.. or is more civilized than you are. Think about that the next time you line jump. Just put it in your resume if you are so proud of it and see how long it takes for you to get a job.

Lines are there for a reason. The simplest and plainest being that if everybody waits their turn, they get their fair share of time-loss and leg pain. So do not be a pain the ass or a butt head.

I am sure Scarlet Pimpernel agrees. And so should you.

Of Hope, Faith and Good Tidings

2011-01-01T17:35:00.000-05:00

First, Wish you a New Year better and brighter than the last.

What does the New Year really mean to you? This is the question that's kept me thinking for the past few years. Memories.. thoughts and hope.

When in school, the first of January meant a day off, a new diary, greeting cards to be bought and exchanged and the visit to the temple. Although, the last one depended largely on the crowds and location.

My dad would order a batch of cards to send to all his colleagues and friends and he would let me select those I wanted for my friends and teachers. I miss that. I much prefer the greeting card to the electronic card - an impersonal, cheaper alternative.

I never attended a New Year eve's party till I came to the States. Oh Wait. There was one time.. it was a dinner party at a relative's house with lots of people whom I did not know. So, it doesn't count. I welcomed every year with family, at home, watching TV (does anyone remember 'flop show' on DD) and eagerly waiting for the phone to ring once the clock strikes twelve. That was the best part - especially when the lines let you talk. We would keep trying for atleast a couple more hours and then give up, only to resume the next day.

I love answering the phone with 'Happy New Year!' on Jan 1st. I know its not fair on the person who called, for he/she definitely wants to wish you first. It's just fun to be the first one.

The one thing to buy within the first week of the New Year was a diary, for many years. I wrote it regularly and religiously till I came to college. And then Life got too complicated to fill in one page per one day. Even then I tried to pour my heart and thought into a notebook, but it was never the same. I bid goodbye to Dear Diary one fine year..

What the New Year means to me now as a grown up is amusing. Parties.. drinks.. food. thoughts of the cleanup after the party or the next day. And maybe some grown up games. Waiting for the clock to strike twelve doesnt change of course, nor does the wish to see something nice on TV (and not frantic people vying for TV time at Times square.. oh and enough with the kissing for the camera)

Hope doesn't change. Hope that there is still hope, hope that the new year would solve some of the problems of the last... bring to life some of your good dreams and of course... some peace and contentment to your daily dreams.

So I ask again.. what does the New Year mean to you if not hope, faith and good tidings? :)

See you on the other side of the weekend..

When Life Seems Strange

2010-12-27T14:32:00.000-05:00

It most definitely is.

I have been absent from my blog for more than 6 months. When I wanted to, I read some great blogs that I follow, but chose to be a silent spectator.. or should I say reader.

This whole year of 2010 has been a roller coaster ride for me. I could not catch up with life and my blog.. and hence I took a long break from the blogosphere. For you can not escape the vagaries of life.

I am not the same person I was when I started this blog.. and this blog has evolved with me. I look back today and view my blog with a sense of amused detachment. I am not fiercely obsessed with my blog anymore. I do not expect anybody to follow up with me, for I am not quite a reliable blogger, I say. I may be an interesting one, but I have my kryptonite in life. :)

Heck, I am not the same person that I was a month ago.. or a week ago. Everyday brings with it new challenges and new setbacks. Sometimes I prevail... sometimes life does. But the fight is interesting enough to keep it up. Isn't that what living is all about. Often I wonder how it would be if it were otherwise. Probably we wouldn't enjoy life or regale in its importance as much as we do now, at the end of a troublesome run.

I have confidence enough in my capabilities.. I believe in fate, but I also believe in human intervention. We shape our own destinies, but often life charts the course in ways beyond our control. Nothing almost ever happens exactly the way we plan, but nevertheless we can not cease to plan. It is human nature to anticipate the best, yet be prepared for the worst.

I had an interesting discussion with my dear friend Sans, about life and philosophy. I believe they go hand in hand. Philosophy is something that we seek solace in when Life treats us a rough ride. Yet, the essence of philosophy lies in Life.. in its ups and downs... plans and surprises.. contentment and disappointment.. would there ever be a philosopher who doesn't yearn to decode the language of Life?

There is a bit of philosophy in all of us. Often in some, it comes out only when they are going through difficulties. But I find that one who has gone through life such, would definetly appreciate the 'fight' more.

I sure can smell Vomit.

2010-04-06T15:23:00.007-04:00

Ok - make that 'only when someone has puked atleast ten time, in a car with the windows closed'. 'Cos I found that out under those specific conditions.

If you know me in person, in real life and not just BlogLand, chances are you might know that I am unspecific odor-blind.

That's a real scientific word and I swear I did not make that up.

Smell is a very direct sense. In order for you to smell something, molecules from that thing have to make it to your nose. Everything you smell, therefore, is giving off molecules -- whether it is bread in the bakery, onions, perfume, a piece of fruit or whatever. At the top of your nasal passages behind your nose, there is a patch of special neurons about the size of a postage stamp. These neurons are unique in that they are out in the open where they can come into contact with the air. They have hair-like projections called cilia that increase their surface area. An odor molecule binds to these cilia to trigger the neuron and cause you to perceive a smell.
According to the book Molecular Biology of the Cell :

Humans can distinguish more than 10,000 different smells (odorants), which are detected by specialized olfactory receptor neurons lining the nose.... It is thought that there are hundreds of different olfactory receptors, each encoded by a different gene and each recognizing different odorants. Each of the hundreds of receptors are encoded by a specific gene. If your DNA is missing a gene or if the gene is damaged, it can cause you to be unable to detect a certain smell. For example, some people have no sense for the smell of camphor.

Such people can smell many other things, but specifically can not smell something. They are hence odor-blind for that specific odor.

But unspecific odor-blinds like me, can not smell many. There are only a few strong - and by that I mean really strong - smells that I can sense. Like ammonia. Like rotting fish. Like ten rotting rats (can't smell one. Sorry!)

People often do not believe me when I say this. I can not smell esters and hence I can not smell fruits or flowers or even artificial fragrances - colognes etc. And thus I always had to take someone's help or work around the rules in the chemistry lab. It is thanks to my lab assistant that I managed to pass high school organic and physical chemistry.

If you are still surprised let me tell you this - I can not smell flowers, fruits, boiling milk, something on fire, something rotting (unless it is in big numbers), drainage, dirty diapers, dirty toilets, dirty people, sweat, or the good stuff like cooking. Sometimes I can smell something, but I can not distinguish what the smell is.

I am no scientist, but the most reasonable causes of my being odor-blind might be that

1. It runs in the family, although in varying degrees. Most severe in me, less severe in my sibs and moderately my Dad. However, my eldest sister is nothing short of a smelling machine - she can smell milk boiling from two streets across!

2. Maybe..maybe I damaged the neurons in my nose as a kid. Well... I don't remember being punched in the face.. but hey who knows!

I often wonder if this is a bane in disguise or a simple curse. I want to smell the flowers - the lillies, the roses, the jasmines and the lavenders. I want to remember them and associate memories with them. But I can not.

I feel lucky though when I escape the smell of garbage or sweat or other stinky stuff that people encounter in daily life.

Its kind of weird though when someone I do not know smells something and innocently asks me 'Do you smell that?' If I like the person I might tell him the truth. If I don't I just sniff my nose and say 'Maybe. What is it?'

And when I tell the truth, they have the same unbelievable look on their face that you do right now :)

Hey! You can still send me flowers, I can imagine how they smell.

The next time you smell something divine, do not think of me. I am in my own odorless heaven ;)

cartoon from here

Some things that scare me

2010-04-04T20:33:00.006-04:00

Phoebe Prince. Bullied by a group of teens relentlessly in school. She put a full stop - by committing suicide. The mother of one of the accused thinks bullying is normal and acceptable behavior.

In another case, group of students gang rape a 15-year old girl. More than 20 people watched for over two hours.

And just a couple of weeks ago, there was a flash mob of teenagers ransacking the streets of our neighboring state.

Bullying is a very much alive evil. It is not limited to one country, one state or by socio-economic conditions. It happens everywhere. It scars the person bullied for life. Some say that they never ever get over the horror. Teenage is a delicate phase where you want to belong, you want your friends to appreciate you, you wish strangers would notice the good qualities in you; you pray everyday that tomorrow when you wake up all the bad things in your life would simply disappear. Bullies make the whole process evolving so much worse.

In the second case, was it only the proportion of alcohol and dark alleys that changed the dynamics of the atmosphere from a friendly group of people, to a mad mob taking advantage of a helpless girl? Were only youth, booze, time, adolescence and some say even the girl only to be blamed for what happened? How does someone explain the fact that more than 20 people just kept looking on for two and half hours - neither condoning nor participating.. neither helping nor aggravating this unspeakable horror?

In the third case, it was supposed to be just a flash mob brought about by the fast and efficient networks of the internet - twitter, facebook and a long list of others. But what one monkey does another follows and there was a whole lot of violence there - they hit people, brought down stores, vandalised them, robbed them and did many appaling things.

I do not know if you have heard about these. But I do know, that you will be equally appalled at this gross recklessness. These are horrible things that happened in the country where I live. But numerous examples of such similar horrors can be found even in the country you live.

What the heck is wrong with our teenagers?

What is it that fuels such behaviour?
I am entirely aware of the adrenaline rush, the hormones, the 'I-own-the-world' or 'I-don't -care-about-the-world for no-one-cares-about-me' attitude.. but seriously, is there no limit? How is it fun to ransack someone's place, to loot their hard earned money?

I find these incidents very disturbing.

Why are they being misled?

Why do they think they can behave in any way they want and get away with it?

Why do they not feel responsible?

Why is this happening?

Although we notice that which is out there on the streets, in recent days I have heard so many versions of teenagers acting out - not outside, not in front of strangers but right there in their homes. They do not realise the emotional abuse they are inflicting upon their family. Sometimes, the family is also to be blamed, sometimes the parents can not just figure out how to deal with their kids. But often, the teens involved have a misconstrued idea about life - they are bent on taking their revenge because they believe they were denied something unnecessarily. (That is the most common stressor I have heard).

To all those teens I say this - one lousy college seat, one crappy gadget or one currency note - these are not the things that make up your life. You are in the process of self-discovery but you are old enough to realise right from wrong. It is not cool to bad mouth your family, it is not hip to be mean with people who love you or people you do not know anything about. And it sure is not fashion to use expletives every other word. You do not have to play along with every single thing that your 'friends' do, you have to learn to take your own stand.Your have been loved by your family; you have grown up safe and secure and privileged. Ask yourself this question - what is it that you want to do with your life? For, you have your whole life ahead of you.

Of road trips, barns and fields

2010-04-04T18:32:00.007-04:00

I haven't had this hectic a weekend in recent times. Its Sunday evening already and I have to gear up for the week ahead which by all means is going to be much tougher than the weekend that was.

I have wanted to blog all week and had to keep postponing it to the weekend, which miraculously has come and gone leaving me with body aches, heartaches and a long list of things to be done before midnight. Uff!!

We went on a small trip to Pittsburgh which is in neighboring Pennsylvania. Many of you might have already heard of the city for it is home to the famous (for us Indians at least) Venkateswara temple.

The trip was memorable as it was the first long distance trip for my two little nephews, and we had never been to Pittsburgh before either. Its 350 miles from here and takes 6 hours by car if you go non-stop. But when you are with two little kids that is not possible. And so it took us a little more than 7 hours.

My nephews were so well behaved! The journey was lovely with the sun keeping us company across green pastures, colorful fields and all variety of livestock.

But what do you think caught the eye of my two and a half year old cousin? Big colorful trucks! Oh he was so happy! If he only knew how to count he could have counted each and every one that came our way! My!

I loved looking at the old-fashioned farms with their big red and black barns, grain silos, tractors, and cute outhouses under big spring trees. It all looked like a scene out of a story book. I so wish I could have taken one photo to share with you guys. But we never could stop at the right places..

It was lovely though! Lazy cows, some grazing, some nibbling and some simply taking in the sun and digesting the remnants of their meal; Big, curious sheep with bulging tummies; Raunchy, handsome horses; And those picturesque plateaus with houses dotting the view.

Scenes that will stay with me a long time and make me wish I could visit one of them sometime in the future.

Somehow it reminded me of the time I went bird-watching in a national park in Tamil Nadu, as a kid. It was wonderful! Although we could spot just a few variety of birds, we caught sight of many surprises en route. Like hundred different kinds of spiders. Fox prints. Shy deers. Blooming wild flowers in their glory. Animals native to that habitat. Our guide was very patient and took pains to make us appreciate the balance in the whole food web. The weather turned bad before we could venture deeper and we had to cut short our wonderful trip. But I always remember the joy and wonder it roused in my heart. And strangely, peace.

The chase

2010-03-29T18:00:00.003-04:00

There we are - one behind the other
Each with the same thing to fear
Thinking about the future to prepare,
Our past to repair,
Ignoring the present in despair.

We all take part in the chase,
The chase for something better,
Something worth the pace,
Something to make our dreams bigger.

Every moment it 'more this,' 'better that',
Our goals in need of a new format,
The quest for a purposeful life,
Our dreams and actions in strife.

We are caught up in this vicious circle

Don't see a way out, and don't search for one
For we can not make it happen
With a chain around our ankle.

The chain that we forge
Right from our childhood
There's family, friends and the whole neighborhood
Stop once and think, can we not reforge?

Can we not renew the bond with our dreams,
Live a life of contentment,
Listen to our hearts,
And take time to look as the Sun beams.

Some things change with time, most things fade away..

2010-03-28T16:30:00.006-04:00

Orkut was the first social networking site I joined, mainly to keep in touch with my friends from school. Its grown a bit outdated now, but I find it still to be a nice way to stay informed about my friends and relatives in India. Anyways, I tried this out the first time I had to write 'about me' in orkut. At that time (read - me being energetic and more creative at heart) I really racked my brain for the right words and thought it was pretty cool. I still like it and I suppose its become all the more common.

People change with time right? And so do the adjectives that best describe them..

Nothing to bring out your thoughts than an honest look at yourself.

Absent minded - pardon me, for its most of the time
Bored - more so with the routine pace of life

Cheerful - a smile, a soft word brighten up the worst of days

Dumb - dumber than I think I am :(

Evasive - especially about problems/fights/responsibilities I think I am incapable of handling.

Friendly - love to meet new people!

Grumpy - only when I am hungry!

Happy - happiness is the most important emotion and thought - hold it in your heart all the time.

Inquisitive - if there ever was a curios cat, consider me it's friend.

Jovial - what's not to make fun of life's unlimited problems?

Kind - A kind word brightens many a soul.

Lazy - yup that's me. Presently vying for the record of couch potato.

Moody - isn't everyone entitled to the salsa of their moods?

Noisy - when I am angry :D

Outspoken - am I really?

Proud - of myself, my family, my life and its very many mistakes.

Quiet - this I wish to be more, and I am sometimes.

Reasonable - a lot, even with undeserving people.

Selective - w.r.t friends, clothes, shoes, bags and watches.

Talkative - although Sid thinks I am not :D just you wait till you meet me in person..

Unmotivated - right now

Variety - of thoughts, moods and emotions.

Worthy - of my dreams, love and happines.

X - err.. I can't think of anything with X other than xtreme which I am not, but would love to be - go backpacking across Europe, bungee jumping, para sailing... buy tons of jewelery, earn ten phds, try twelve jobs.. go for a career change.. have a football team of kids :D

Young at heart - always.

Zig-zagged circuits of my brain say no more..

Do you want to give it a try? let me know if you do .. would love to read more

Guess who showed up today..

2010-03-26T00:55:00.000-04:00

And by up I mean literally up.. :D .. I had a long day today, but I couldn't go to sleep without sharing some exciting news with you guys..

After that bitter winter, at the first signs of spring, my husband and I spent a good couple of hours cleaning our balcony and the flower pots.

So.. now you get the hint right - seedlings!! and they look so wonderful and tiny and uiiii I am so excited.. Maybe a little over excited - but you can't blame me after the amount of snow/ice/sleet/slush I have seen. I want to be able to sit in my balcony and have a quiet time with my plants. And by the looks of everything, there are good times ahead my friends.

Last season it was time for Eggplants and Jalapenos (too many of the latter actually.. I left the last harvest on the trees for I didn't know what to do with them!!). This season we bought seeds for Cucumber and Zinnia.And they have come to life well within their stipulated one week's time (I counted! and of course urged them to grow every morning and evening). There aren't any pics yet as they are still too tiny and I doubt if my lens would capture them.

My poor Gerber daisy - the bright orange flower in my header did not survive the winter :( .It was a wonderful cut flower and brightened my day many times. Orange love.. I mourn your loss..

My day lillies are slowly coming out of their hibernation.. The two roses have survived and there is a new one giving them company - that too red!

Mint was the first to welcome spring and a tulip leaf took me by surprise! I was sure it had left us for good.. although I am still not sure when it will bloom.

My two chrysanthemums are going strong after their second winter.. and I am actually proud of them :D

Wow.. I just wanted to write a couple of lines.. looks like information overload!! All said and done, I am looking forward to peaceful, quiet and colourful evenings and exciting mornings.. and of course lots of pics!

Will keep you posted :) Good night and sweet dreams!

signing off.. midnight 1 o'clock.. my time.. in case you were wondering ;)

And so it goes...

2010-03-23T23:49:00.000-04:00

Frustrating, annoying and most preposterous. Hold on there.. I am not talking about the happenings of my life - although in reality, it does qualify the use of these words.

However, right now I am talking about fiddling with the html code of my blog template. More precisely - the fiddling that happened before which I am desperately trying to undo.But for that I have to locate it first right?! See, that's the thing. See that tiny border at the end of the post, the lavender colored flower? I was very pleased with it when I put it in a long time back. NOW, it so does not go well with the present theme of my blog. I need to take it off. But for the love of me, I can not figure out what its called.. or where I put it in in the html code.. What exactly needs to be done to rectify this escapes the borders of my so-so-creative mind. Due to a time constraint brought about by piling assignments, pending project works, and back-back marathon of CSI, I am being forced to give this up - whoa hold on there - not blogging honey, just the search for the elusive-don't-know-what-its-called thingy.

Does anybody have any clue what I might have done with it or what needs to be done now to take that floral thingy off my blog?? No? Well I had to ask anyway.. its such an eyesore.

But the good part - which actually brought all this on - is that I am taking a renewed interest in my blog, and think that it being MY blog and so many of you being so fond of me and what I ~~spew~~ write I think it totally deserves a revamping. A new look might just tempt me to blog more ;) what say?

I gave it a lot of thought... and quite a considerable amount of googling - time that would have been better invested in the above pileups I mentioned - but lets not fuel my growing guilty-by-the-minute-conscience.. Google has finally answered my prayers - or rather this lady here. The link takes you to this article that a wonderful blogger called Sarah has written (who blogs here by the way at clover lane). I have always wanted a personalised blogger header. I tried it once before with IrfanView (remember the cute echi pictures) but I find it to be much easier to create the header with Picasa.

Now maybe you guys all have mastered the art of making your own header images for your special blogs, but I am sure there are still newbies like me out there, or atleast not so new-bees trailing behind their blogging skills who would definetly profit form this - like me. I suddenly love my blog anew.. and the images in the header are all my favorite pics.. Looks like my blog just got Spring-Cleaned. You be sure to see more of me around - I just hope not at the expense of my grades.. ;)

So..what do you think?

Wow.. I have missed this..

2010-03-18T23:31:00.000-04:00

But it actually feels weird to be back .. here.. at my blog.. After hibernating (for want of a better word) the whole of this winter (almost) I am finally ready to start posting again.. although, I should warn you, it is not going to be a smooth ride..

I am going through a huge transition phase in my life right now...But however I may try not to, it is surely going to reflect in my posts..

I have missed you guys.. I have missed blogging.. It is heartwarming to see that you have not forgotten me.. and whether patiently or impatiently you waited for me to break out of my shell :D thanks for being there.. all of you..

So there's a lot going on in my life.. but leaving aside everything I am so glad spring is here people!!!! We went to this park today after a long time and it was so good to see the sun.. the birds.. the very grass looks beautiful!!! It is so good not to see any snow, sleet, slush, thin ice, black ice, blocks of ice.. all kinds of ice.. we were hit with four snowstorms this season.. and you surely do not blame me for hating the weather gods!!

So here we are.. my blog and I.. a new spring.. a new beginning.. and hopefully new plants for my balcony garden soon.. :)

See you around bloggers..

Thank you Thursday

2009-11-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

It's a lovely feeling when prayers are answered, isn't it? Today I want to talk about some prayers answered and some being made..

-- On rakhi this year, I had a prayer too..

If you haven't figured it out after reading that post, or if you did not want to read it (why? ;) ) let me explain. I have a big brother. My only brother. After I came to US I missed him (inspite of his being in the same continent) and I wished he would get a job someplace near Jersey.

Well.. what do you know! My wish has been granted and he is now with us!! Yes Yes Yes - right now staying with us.. His new job is a couple of hours away from our place :D Pretty soon my little nephew and littlest nephew will be in the same city as I - or max an hour away. Need I say more?

So.. let me stop myself before I go on and on about my nephews and my family.. it is no hidden truth that I love talking about them :) and barely manage to stop myself.

-- Talking about prayers answered, to those of you who kept me company through my GRE and TOEFL woes, thank you very much (I know. I know. Long overdue!! Sorry!!) I cleared TOEFL with a great score (112/120) and as predicted the least score was in the listening section (!). I am glad thats over. I have convinced myself for the time being not to take GRE again, and to join a college near my house.. lets see whats in store..

-- I haven't been regular on blogger 'cos my laptop's off on a winter vacation. My letter to Santa's been sealed and posted and am awaiting the return of my e-companion.

Hubby, lets not wait till x'mas ok.. I might forget my words by then :D

-- Its wedding season in India, and I am missing all that fun. Especially because many of my dear friends are getting married. I pray for their happiness and wish they would send me tons of photos - which is not happening. So, got to wish harder. And then there is that sinister thought of wanting to take revenge upon everyone who teased me with 'aunty' at the time of my wedding... but unfortunately that's not me, and even if I wanted to, I forget all about it when they ask me about silly little doubts.

-- And now for my latest award. It is so much fun and comes from one of my favorite bloggers - Esmeralda. Thank you dear for thinking of me.. I shall live up to the award :P

the rules are as follows:

1) Post the award.

2) List seven personality traits, as evidenced by your blog.

Simple. I only ever use simple words. But then my seemingly absent minded vocab has nothing to do with it.

Honest. Now, now don't you judge me by what I just said.

Friendly. Come any closer and I would talk your head off.

Talkative. err.. blogwise, I should say elaborate and lengthy.
Sweet n sentimental. No explanation needed.

Forgetful. In the good sense and the bad.
Smart. You knew that.right? Right???

3) Give the award to 7 others with notable personalities and let them know!
Monica, Shruti, Hiyaa, Olive Oyl, Kasabian girl, Guria and Anu..Ladies.. You are so very special.

I am sure whoever first conjured this award meant no offense. Even if he/she/they did, I don't mean any. I think this award is simply fun :)

Its time.

2009-11-10T16:50:00.003-05:00

March 8, 2009

You bet I was excited. As excited as someone can be without without getting too excited. So I did what everybody would do on That special day - first day at your first job ever. :D I woke up early. Having kept everything ready and arranged the previous day, I was well prepared. New watch, New shirt, new pants, new inner wear.. etc etc.. you get it right. Before you go smirking at me, its a childhood thingy ok? My mom always got a whole new set of clothes for special occasions and festivals. Said they smelt great together and would make it all so much more memorable.

So, to cut it short, I got dressed in my very best and set out for my office. I was staying at the guesthouse, which is just a couple of blocks away from the office; a brisk 10 minute walk does good for the body right? But I still set out early, not wanting to go to late to office. They do say right, the best way to end up late at a place is to have ample time. I agree with it you know. When my school was exactly five minutes away from home, I would always end up late at the front gate. I would keep thinking there is still a lot of time, why go early.

So, imagine my surprise when I walk in through the front gate of my office, and there is not a soul in sight, except for the security guard, who gave me a really weird look. The orientation was over last week, as I was the only recruit this time, I got special solo class :) Armed with my id and desk number I went in to see my supervisor. I was joining a new group today and I wanted to go right into the chain of command. To my great disappointment, the supervisor was busy in a meeting and sent a message asking me to go ahead.

With a little bit of apprehension and a lot of confidence, I went into the group discussion room. We were having an early morning meeting about an oncoming project - or so the notice that reached me said yesterday. You do open a door expecting all eyes to be on the new comer, but you do not open the door expecting all eyes to be glaring at you, all heads to be shaking with disappointment mixed surprise, and everybody murmuring. I had no clue what was happening here. Was I in the wrong place? Somebody near me mumbled, "Does not augur good to come to your first meeting at your job on the first day, so late" What? Wait a minute!! I am not late. I am on time. I looked at him speechless and perturbed. I asked him, wasn't the meeting at 9? He said, "Of course. Look at the time now buddy. I did. It only said 9 o'clock. I looked at him look at my watch and laugh. Laugh? Why? He silently pointed to the wall clock. I couldn't believe my eyes. The time read 10. How is that possible??

I started playing all kinds of scenarios in my head. Maybe my watch ran out of batteries - but no, the second hand still moves. Maybe I set the wrong time - but no, I synced it with my laptop. Then how could I be wrong and late?

Meanwhile the news travelled all around the hall. People first started smiling, then murmuring, then giggling then openly laughing.. and finally looking funnily at me.

So.. want to know what happened?

One term. Day light Saving. Now how was I supposed to guess that in the middle of the night the timings would simply change? Nobody ever told me about that!! It had only been a couple of days since I landed in US of A No friends, no phones.I didn't know anybody, nobody knew me. But thanks to this incident, people soon knew me as the DLS guy. I made friends.. But more importantly I made sure I put DSL on my reminders list :D

Hey guys.. hope you enjoyed the story. This never happened to me, but I tell you, it just as well might have, if I were new and had no friends and no way to know that time would change.. then you bet I would be that DLS guy :D

But it is very annoying, this daylight saving. Come summer, days are really long... and in winter you know you are starting the day so early!! I have severe sleep deprivation whenever DLS sets in. Not a good time to be near me, my husband would tell you :D

At times like this, I wish I were still in India. Atleast it wouldn't grow pitch dark by 4 pm in the winter.. or stay super sunny till 9 pm during summers. Ugh..

If I Were A Baby Again

2009-11-06T16:57:00.002-05:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 4; the fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Come on. Admit it. Go ahead. Just a little nod. Maybe you are all alone as you read this, maybe you are not. But it really doesn't matter. 'Cos I know your deep dark secret. And you know it too. You have wished for it at least once in your life. Given it at least one moment's thought. In spite of the little innocence, love and joy of childhood that we jealously guard in our hearts..

Be it 18 or 80 years old, one time or the other you have wanted to relive those sweet memories. A carefree life, time to explore, live each moment, enjoy every failure and success.. wouldn't it be wonderful to have all that all over again? And just think of all that energy..

Haven't you thought about that life? That life where you do not have to worry about setting goals; where you do not have to weigh the pros and cons before doing things; where its ok to lose and its actually fun to fall down; that sweet, wonderful, unbelievable life where you are not judged by the work you do and every little act deserves applause and is met with oohs and aaahs.

Of course, the appraisal levels reduce a little if you are one of many kids. Maybe this time I can be the eldest kid God? Pretty please? That would be fun with no competition. Set the levels. Go Girl.

Haven't you wished for it? Thought about that world of possibilities; no stereotypes exist and a kid is a kid no matter what; you can be a pilot this second flying with wings and a soldier the next second aiming away half way across the globe. You do not have to look for playmate, you do not need expensive toys. All you need is time to play and some place to do so.

Doesn't it all make sense? If happy thoughts were dollars, every kid would be a millionaire. If all you needed in life was love and commitment, then every kid would succeed - if only to do the one thing he wants to do right then and there. If nothing else is possible, I just want to be a baby again to relive that happy life.

If I were to be a baby again, then I would pray that everything would be exactly the way it was when I was a baby. If I were a baby again, I wish I could say that I wish I never would grow up, but what fun is one phase in life if the other phase doesn't succeed is. That is the loving life cycle - you live one phase, and think fondly of the life behind you.. dream eagerly of the life ahead of you.

Although, it is true that, I would try to do something different and make use of the second chance :D Although it beats me what that would be. Definitely not studies. :D Possibly a bit on the health side. I have crappy tooth genes, so please can we change that God? Oh, and I also have floppy hair genes, can we talk about that too please? And where do I petition about my height?

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Erase The Memory of Thy Frown..

2009-11-04T11:08:00.007-05:00

Hmm.. now what did I want to write about?

Lately.. that seems to be pop up whenever I start a new post. There are just too many things on my mind. Nothing that I can classify under one category specifically. And of course.. then there is the ever persistent absent mindedness. One second I will get this brainstorming idea.. and before I even remember to note it down someplace (which takes a lot of time - not the actual writing part.. the remembering to write part) it goes poof. pch pch..

There is something I want to talk about though. I went to visit my doctor yesterday and there was a long wait. Not that it bothered me. What bothered me very much was this grumpy old lady there. I have had my fair share of grouchy elderly people, but I have never seen anyone like that. Just one thing stood out. You know what? Her smile. Or rather the absence of it. In the one and half hour wait that ensued, she did not smile once.Not once. Not at the little boy playing with his toy engine. Not at the specially gifted boy who wouldn't stop smiling at everyone around. Not even at the old lady beside her who could hardly sit (arthritis). She never once returned one single person's smile whether young or old, black, white or brown (some people prefer not to smile at anybody other than their own 'bethren'.. you know what I mean right..).. I was really intrigued by this lady. And bothered too.

What was on her mind? What was the reason behind her wearing a perpetual frown? I have seen grumpy people before.. but something or the other would definitely light them up. How long can someone resist the urge to smile? To me smiling is so spontaneous.. even in the worst of times, when I see a little kid, I smile. I could not help wonder the reason behind her frown. And she walked in with a big one too - nothing inside the clinic brought on that billion dollar frown.

Did you ever read Malory Towers by Enid Blyton? There is this little girl in that who draws caricatures... and there is one particular scene where she captures the frown on her classmates face and immortalises it. That is exactly what I felt like doing.

A simple smile is no big deal right..I mean.. whats all the fuss about? Even if you don't like the other person, or you don't feel like talking, a smile makes up for all lost or missing conversation. People visit doctors only if there is a problem, and whether the problem is big or small, it causes unspeakable discomfort that only the sufferer would fully understand. But, just a little smile? My sympathies go to that dear old soul .

Ok.. you guys.. never be like that grumpy. Else someone might blog about you ;)

What is Love?

2009-10-31T17:33:00.000-04:00

I know. Strange question right. I am sure everybody has asked themselves - or someone else - this very question and heard a multitude of answers.

I have too. But, right now I am thinking about limitless love 'cos I am very sad.

Is it right for someone to experience love - from his parents, relatives, friends, family, lover and then wife - and then just throw away his life 'cos the one person he loved more gave up on him and chose her own path?

Is it fair to undermine the love of every other person in his life because of that?

Is it love that took him away from his family... that left a mother heart-broken?

He gave up on life. And today, life gave up on him and made way for death.

I like to believe that love doesn't kill. But often, my faith is shaken off its foundation.

Life is complex. There are times when it just sucks. Sometimes it is all twisted, and we end up searching for answers. In spite of everything, I firmly beleive that life is to be lived and enjoyed. Every moment, life reminds us that it is very short. And surely, we have no right to kill someone, or ourselves.

I understand being lost in love. I fully comprehend the pain a breakup or worse a divorce can cause to a loving heart. What I do not understand is how a sane person can just become so insane that all that matters to him is wrecking his own life.

People Die. We move on. When people leave our lives and chose different paths, we should move on too..right?

It is my sincere request to every heart that beats its tune to love - life is full of love. Do not end it because of one failed relationship. If you truly understand love, in all its forms, then you should know better.Relations fail, people change, but always life goes on.

I am sorry to have to come back and talk in a sad tone. But this needed to be said.

I say this again, it is not fair to end your life for one failed love. However much you argue, it is not. If it is love you want, it is already present in your life. If it is love you search, one day you will find it again. But, if you give up on love in your life, no matter how much someone tries to help you, there is no cure. You prove nothing by your death, except maybe that you never knew the true meaning of love. Before you take such drastic decisions, please contemplate the effect it would produce on the people who love you, not just the ones you love or loved.

We deeply mourn the loss of my beloved cousin today. He was loved and will be missed. It pains me to have to think of him in the past tense. I am still in shock, and utter disbelief. My heart is with my family.. sorrow beyond words. A life full of promise and possibilities.. full of love.. lost forever.

Hang in there, sweetheart

2009-10-15T22:37:00.001-04:00

I know. I know. You are very annoyed. I can see it in your eyes that you miss me. I hear your heavy sighs.. the sadness in your eyes stings me.. I hear your forlorn thoughts.. I miss you too dear blog.

I am ridiculously busy. With the festival of lights Divali around the corner, and what with my parents leaving next week, there are just so many things to do. This is the first festival I am celebrating with my family after my wedding I am just jumping with joy - my Prasanth is coming tomorrow.. yippeeee..I don't have to remind you that I missed him.. but I will. 'cos I missed him.

This is the best Divali ever - family, kids, friends, and .. wait for it.. we can burn crackers in Florida. Whooo hooo.. No child labour here folks, and before you glare at me about pollution and waste, I choose the ones that lit up the sky brightly with lots of colours. So, I think it is perfectly justified that I am so happy and eagerly waiting. I want to wipe away all memories of my first Divali in America 'cos that was so boring.. dull.. bleaky.. dark.. and made me miss my family terribly.

I am just such a sucker for family time right? I never realised it myself till I went to hostel. Ever since, I cherish every moment with my family :)

Ok.. now that I have finished the whole heartily happy story, let me apologise for not blogging frequently.. Mmy mom kept us all busy making those delicious savories and sweets for the festival - so you know why I am just off the grid temporarily. It is very hard to resist that, beleive me.

I keep telling myself, and my dear blog too, that we have only each other (and my precious hubs) to keep company when we get back to jersey. Right now, let me enjoy these happy moments with my family.

A Very Happy Divali to all you guys there. I hope you all celebrate this awesome festival in whatever way you prefer.. It is the festive spirit that counts. Needless to say, mine is on cloud nine. :D

I will catch you guys after the festival...surely, forI have just too much to write about.. I think my brain would refuse to work for me if I don't.. so rest assured that I will be back.

Till then.. Enjoy!

PS - Thanks for missing me :D

You know what I did...

2009-10-10T01:00:00.014-04:00

when I should have been sleeping.. i did this tag.. this silly funny tag.

I am sure you guys will be glad to read that this is my last tag in this whole crazy tagged week.. haha..

So here it goes.. please bear with me 'cos I have never done such a silly QnA tag.. will try real hard to keep it interesting.

RULES: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

1.What is your current obsession? Are two allowed? blogging and my ipod.

2. What are you wearing today? Night dress.

3. What’s for dinner? Will tell you in exactly 20 hours. Its 1 am now.

4. What’s the last thing you bought? A cute semi-coat. I wish I had a pic to show you guys.. maybe someday?

5. What are you listening to right now? the nagging voice of a friend who wants me to see a youtube video of this young guitar sensation guy. At 1 o'clock in the morn, I like it quiet. I am sure my brother appreciates it too.. don't fancy being kicked out.....

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? I think we were meant to be friends. so many similar tastes.. just wonderful!

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? haa... Is there a time frame? if this is to happen right now, I would want it in NJ, where I live. If in the near future, then some place cool.. not too sunny.. a hillstation in India or some sleepy city in America. I like small towns..

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer? AC, A big 'keep it cool' water bottle, lots of loose fitting cottons to let me breathe, a big soft handkerchief, and non-sticky sun-screen!!

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Home!! India! Free of cost right? I can't pay for a rocket!!

10. Which language do you want to learn? Spanish. It is so romantic.

11. What’s your favourite quote? Everything happens for a reason.

12. Who do you want to meet right now? My husband. I know it sounds too cliche.. But I miss him. If I were with him, I would say my second sis. She is the only one of us sibs in India, and missing all the fun.

13. What is your favourite colour? lavender.

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet? Cotton shorts in the summer, fleece pants during winter.

15. What is your dream job? You know.. just waht everyone dreams -- sit at home and enjoy everyhting you want without having to lift a finger and a constant paycheck filling up your bank account.. sigh.. Isn't it so wonderful!! Imagine me like that in a big house with lots of kids .. wow.. But seriously, I think it would definetly be at the head of a research institute.

16. What’s your favourite magazine? hmm.. good housekeeping.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? thats a lot of money.. handbags, shoes, clothes, and if something is left in it, a good wallet for my husband. Yup. I come first. Very selfish.
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? Fuschia colours on middle aged women/men. As a matter of fact, I don't like them on teenagers either. so there.. I dont like them on people.
19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon? Errr.. I think the list is too long.
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? Curly hair doesnt give you many options. But if I had straight hair, then definetly layers, starting from the chin. lovely!!

21. What are you going to do after this? Sleep and dream.
22. Who is your favourite sport star? who?

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without? Chapstick - without which my lips look like a cactus plant in its prime; anti-frizz conditioners - without which my hair looks like a porcupine, only curled; and definetly sunscreen - without which I would hate myself in summer.
24. What inspires you? Honesty, hard working nature, and humor.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: If you have frizzy curly hair, use an anti-friz serum, stay away from the dryer, and please don't get it ironed!! I really don't like how it looks lifeless.
26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)? I ask whoever is with me to choose and I wear it even if I don't like. If I am alone, I pick something that lifts my spirits and puts me in a good mood.
27. Coffee or tea? Tea. With ginger and elaichi.

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? I eat three people's brains - I am lucky. My husband, my friend Anu and my sis#2.
29. What is the meaning of your name? Ask the star (not a movie star silly, the one up there in the sky, astronomically speaking) I am named after. It is my birth star. I am not even sure it has a meaning.

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting? All those that I follow.

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? Kheer. Ice cream. Yogurt. one of these three.

32. Favorite Season? Fall and Spring.

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me? Idli, Dosa, Sambar, Biryani. But first, tell me what are your favorites? You already know mine.

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? There is no right way to avoid. Just avoid.

35. What do you love most about yourself? That I am so lazy yet resourceful and creative.. and.. err.. I talk too much. :D

i am supposed to add a question. hmm.. my question being

What is it that you think most about? When I am sad, I think about my wonderful college days. When I am happy, I miss my family. When I am angry, I only think of stopping my tears.

Phew.. I think I got a bit carried away 'cos I kept thinking 'no more tags'. I really liked doing this. It says tag this many people.. But mrigank dubey, vishvak saen, hitaishi, sumit, pulkit, Kasabiangirl, sugandha, Rims, Zeba, kaka, Hary, Anu, Sans, Eash, Monica.. please do this tag.. I will be waiting.

You Be The Judge

2009-10-08T23:22:00.000-04:00

Innocent... or Guilty?

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.
Rule # 4 - And this is entirely mine - to three questions i answered dishonestly. Try and spot them! :) try try..

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.

Ever told a lie? Guilty.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.

Kissed a picture? Guilty.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.
Stolen from a store? Guilty.

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Guilty.

Kissed in the rain? Guilty.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.

Shaved your head? Innocent.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a boyfriend cry? Innocent.

Been in a band? Innocent.

Shot a gun? Innocent.

Donated Blood? Innocent.

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty.

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty.

Been too honest? Guilty.

Ruined a surprise? Guilty.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.

Joined a pageant? Guilty.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.

Had communication with your ex? Guilty.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.

fire away.. dishum dishusm dishum..

and I hate rule number 2. so you better ask me :P

Time to bang the gravel - only I am not sure who has done this tag and who hasnt. So I am just going to go ahead and tag people. if you have already done it.. ignore! 'cos I am sure you dont want to do it again. Of course if you want to do it again, you know you have a reader in me :D

Sans, Eash, Anu, Hary, monica, ekam and hitaishi.. you are tagged!

D for Dumb

2009-10-07T00:09:00.001-04:00

I googled for lizard and I found this interesting definition, unknown to me till now -A lounge lizard - A generally idle man who haunts establishments or gatherings frequented by the rich or fashionable; a social parasite.

What can you say!

My result will tell you how honest I am.

If you were tempted to go to the end of this post, or you have already scrolled down to see the result, shame on you :P That shows how honest you are :P

So back to the Dumb dumber Dumbest quiz.

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door

[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself

[x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 4

[ ] You have run into a tree/bush.

[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

[ ] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times

[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.

[x] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 7

[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[x] You have choked on your own spit .

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.

[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.

[ ] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 9

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire

[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[ ] You have caught yourself drooling.

[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

[x] You stared hard at someone trying to figure whether the person was he or she

So far: 11

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

[x] People often shake their heads and walk away from you

[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 12

[ ] You have eaten a bug

[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important

[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand

[x] You have ran around naked in your house.

So far: 15

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.

[ ] You break a lot of things.

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused

[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before

[ ] Mistook your teacher to be a student

So far: 15

[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall

[ ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

[x] Have you opened your mouth to say something but then you pretended as if you were yawning because you forgot what you wanted to say.

TOTAL: 17

I am (17/40)*100 = 42.5% DUMB!!!

wow... thats a big number isnt it? Somebody should put this test on FB.. or is it already there and I never came across it!!

the result sucks.. but as I said I have been pretty honest :) These things have happened over a period of many years, so you guys can't say it holds true now :P

Lets see how honestly dumb Sans, Kaka, Monica, and Anu are. No pressure guys. If you don't want to do it.. don't. :) If anybody else is interested in testing their levels of 'dumbness' do let me know!

Thanks for tagging me guria and pramoda! I am enlightened :D

A Tag A Day Prevents Brain Decay

2009-10-04T23:57:00.002-04:00

Life is like a feather in each wind that blows.

hmm.. just looking at the title you might have understood my brain is not rolliing right nowadays. It is too occupied being the good aunt, the lazy loving daughter, the helpful little sister.. the wife pining away in love.. the student waiting for results.. amidst all this is lost the blogger I want to be.

I wanted to write for the blogaton. Unfortunately, my sister has a schedule that will sweep you off your feet, no matter who you are. Buried in the above roles, I quite forgot about it, until Rahul reminded him. By the way, I managed to peep in and read some of the posts and I should say, I had lot of fun!! I would have had more if I had written one post too. The topic was "The Indian Dream". Inspite of it being a much discussed one, some of them had a very refreshing outlook at the Indian dream and that was worth the read. Go take a look if you are intersted, it is a really cool concept this blogaton.

So.. back to the Tag-a-day. I have so many backlogs, and yet so little time nowadays to think of somehting interesting to write about, I figured, this was a good idea. Otherwise, I might shie away the few people who do comment with incessant talk about my family and friends. I take my duties as an aunt very seriously, for the rewards are exhilarating :) My two year old nephew thinks I am the best, and he has decided to call his eldest aunt as "bullatha" too after me haha..

Errr.. there I go again, back to the whole family gloating... but then, its ok right??

Today's tag is something I really enjoyed reading. Ekam is a charming young lady and her posts are always interesting. She wrote this tag which is like an "About me" tag. Do read about her here.

There are no rules, if there were, most probably my post would end up looking like very similar to Ekam's post. Surprisinglly, we both have a lot of things in common.

I like my name. I know people who think its no big deal, but I am glad I don't have a boring name. And I am very happy that my name is not pronounced in ways beyond recognition by Westerners. I can live with Ro-He-Ne. It sure sounds like Rohini. Not bad. Really. Of course, my surname is an entirely different story, but I like it too.
One quality I posses, that I don't like sometimes, is my ability to adjust and accomodate to the demands of people I hardly know or like.. or would never want to. In other words, I find myself nice and pleasing even when I dont want to. Sometimes, it backfires.. sometimes it annoys 'cos the other guy doesn't deserve it and often, i am glad i am like this.
I wish I had a huge circle of friends. But I know that is a bit unlikely. Only because the people I trust, like and open up to are very few. The qualities in them are not hard to find in others, but I shy away from people whom I don't trust by instinct or whose behaviour I don't like. And looking back, I think this list if longer than the former. sigh.
I have been a good student without having to put too much effort so far. I am worried that I might have become out of sync with my student self. Atleast I still have time to get back in my groove.
My parents have raised me with a mixture of old and new fashions. I have always strived to keep the balance intact as far as I can. But in religious matters like puja and rituals, I am not always successful. I do not know much about them, and I am not sure if I have the zeal to learn. But, I respect them nevertheless.
I love to smile. Even if my smile is not photogenic, or people dont like it.. I think to be able to smile is wonderful and it should be used as often as possible. There is so much to smile at.. why hold yourself back.
My family says they can read my face like a book. It shows all my emotions. I try pretty hard not to. It is quite irritating sometimes. Atleast I can control my expressions to some extent when I am with friends or strangers. Thank god for that!
I am very lazy at home (Honest Ekam, not copying you). I dont dress neatly, I dont do everywork as soon as I think of it. I like to take thigns slow and relax.. and just laze around. Like what we can do later, we should never do now. So, if you ever plan to visit, do give me a call first. Then I do things in a jiffy, and my house is guest worthy and I play the perfect host. :D My husband is always surprised and happy when we have guests.. haha. I use to tell my mom that a home is not like a hotel room - it wont be always neat and things wont be always scanty or in their places 'cos people are what make a house a home. :D now, I tell my husband that. haha.
I am going to go back to my home and miss my family.. especially the kids. They are all so adorable.. I wish they had more time to play with me. I have firmly decided to come in their holidays from now on. What is the point of interrupting their schedules such that they dont do justice to that or spend time with me.. very sad.
And lastly I will tell you a little secret. I think watches are the perfect gifts. I was kind of obsessed with them in college. I had atleast a dozen I think. Now I just have a couple and I wish I had more. Well, I always wish I had more watches. One for each dress style - casual, trendy, academic, sporty, traditional, semi-traditional...etc etc.. My husband thanks his lucky stars that atleast I don't wish i had only expensive watches. No.. just any watch would do as long as I like it and it works..

Ah.. there my friends.. I did it. I hope you enjoyed reading about me.. if you found it atleast a little interesting I think I would be happy. And what do you think of my a tag a day? It might only be for a week though, I dont think I have tags more than that pending. Who knows.. maybe I might come up with something after that. I do have many ideas in draft.. haha..

Anu, Eash, Parzi, Rims, Hitaishi, Sid and simba.. would do please take up this tag.. I want to know more about you :) Anybody else who is interested and wants to write, just drop a line ..

Enjoy! life is short and is like a ball that bounces back no matter what. Your thoughts are the air that keeps it up. Think bright, think light.. think happy !

Get Set Go

2009-09-30T00:07:00.001-04:00

The Florida skyline from the flight.. beautiful..

Its a spellbounding view.. Be sure to be on the window seat

It looks like the background from some video game you know - tiny lakes, tiny houses and lots of puffy cottony clouds

This tiny lake is behind my sisters house. Before you go all aww.. imagine greeting alligators for breakfast.. or crossing their path during mating season. Yup. They have allgators in their ponds - the very ponds behind their homes.. It is not a pleasant sight.. seriously.

Welcome to Florida :) My botany is riddled with cob-webs.. but these look like a species of the Ixora family. I like them a lot.

Whats better than a sea lion welcoming you into Sea World? Their bark is so funny yet annoying

I like this scene - 'cos the spot belongs to the seals and the birds are migratory visitors. But they fight for the territory and food that comes with it as if they own rights.. Here they seem to be setting limits

Killer Whales. Its a wonderful sight to see them up close. Awe-inspiring I tell you. Absolutely fascinating the way they respond.

This little fellow here is my favorite of them all. He poked his head out of the waters and posed for me. My dad thinks this is the bestshot I ever took of an animal :D I like this pose 'cos of the aura around the seal. His whiskers.. the look on his face.. or maybe its the colors and contrast.. or maybe I am reading too much into the photo.

Spot the fish and win a prize!!

And last but not least.. a penguin for all those who approved it as one of my nine lives to come.. Although I don't think I would enjoy being in the zoo ;)

Thats all for now folks. I took more than 200 pics and I want to upload many more.. but I think this is good for now. I hope you enjoyed the sights of Sea World, Orlando. If you ever come this way, do visit them. They hae wonderful shows - the best are the Killer whale, dolphin and the seals. Lot of sea creatures.. you will definetly enjoy it. We did.

I miss my tatayya

2009-09-28T15:32:00.003-04:00

My paternal grandfather and I had a love-hate relationship. I barely knew my G'pa till he came to live with us when I was in high school. My sisters grew up with my G'pa in our native town and they were thus very close. Me, on the other hand, got to know him entirely new ('cos that was the first time he had ever come to live with us) and old (he was 77 then). And staying with a half-out-of-her mind adolescent Grand daughter is not everyone’s dream old age package come true.

He was named Surya Prakasa Rao. But to me he was my dear Old man.. young man.. Daddu.. Daadu.. Tata.. tatayya.. Tats..

He taught me how to cook. He survived all the very many disasters I created.. and actually certified me fit for the kitchen. There was no recipe he didnt know, from pizza to pickles!!

He was my fashion guide. Imagine that!! But he was. I would come home from shopping and do a catwalk for him in my new dresses. He swore I had the best eye for detail in the family. Of course, I never could convince him that bermuda shorts were not inspired by head constable uniform or that wrap around skirts were not the bad half of a lehenga..

He believed in me, more than I ever could. He would always tell me that I was destined for great things.. that people would admire me for what I was. It was his wish that I either get a 'Dr' before my name, or work in a big laboratory. someday I hope I can make that happen.

He fought with me over petty things, worse than my friends! Boy oh boy! we wouldn't talk to each other for days sometimes.. forcing my mom to act as a mediator. Both of us would tell her, "its not my fault". I miss those fights.. I miss my old friend..

He introduced me to my lovely mother tongue, to the hidden knowledge in our ancient scriptures. He taught me to respect traditions, not blindly, but because they also had a scientific base.. and common sense..which is nowadays masked by superstitions and scorn.

Two years ago, the day before Dushera, my G'pa pased away.

It was his 88th birthday last month. I would have got him a sugar-free (for he was a diabetic), egg-free (a staunch Hindu Brahmin) low calorie (very diet conscious) BIGG cake and put 88 candles on it. Serious.

He had a long and bitter struggle with cancer. He survived it only to be attacked by Parkinson's. He fought that too... but he did not win that war. Sometimes life is so unfair.. wasn't one fight enough for that old man.. why should he have to give up on life at a time when he wanted to play with his first great grandson who shared his name.. But death is never fair isn't it? Why reduce a man who had never asked anyone for help his whole life, to the misery of being so sick he had to seek the help of everyone around? why make him suffer before taking him away from us? That was the first time I lost someone dear to me, and beleive me when I say it never fades away.

Even when he was bed ridden, and severely ill, fighting with hallucinations and nervous degeneration..with memory loss, he remembered me.. he always spoke of my wedding and wanted to buy me a pair of gold earrings..It's a pity my wedding did not happen when he was alive. I miss him now, even after two years. I am sure he looks out for me from up there.

Looking back, it was not always easy being his granddaughter. He had his obsessions, and I had my disobediences. But we both wanted to make it work, 'cos he was family and the only G'pa I had (my maternal g'pa passed away when I was a little girl).. even otherwise I think, I would have respected him for what he was - a proud, independent man who was the head of our family. He was loving in his own way - so what if that did not include telling 'I love you" or "I miss you" or giving me hugs. He taught us the values we inculcate now in our kids. He taught us to be proud of who we are.. to plan ahead..and never take money for granted.

I miss my grandpa. Thats the whole thing. I miss him.. and I look back and I think I could have loved him more.. I could have helped him more.. I know he was proud of me. I am sure he knew I cared for him :) I see my dad now with his grandkids.. they are so happy to play with him.. of course they barely listen to what he has to say.. as impatient as I was when I was a child.

Sometimes we are so occupied with our daily life... we don't even realise when we take the people in our life for granted.. especially grandparents. Please do not give up on your grandparents. They are not just treasure troves on information and support.. they also yearn for your love and time. All it takes is a little effort.. to sit and talk with them.. to hear them go back to their childhood days.. You will have something to think about, and they will be happy with the chance to talk to their heart's content. they have so many things to share!

Count me in!!

2009-09-23T00:26:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by Bard and Kaka long time back. Too long..

I think now is the right time for me to post it... I saw it in the draft and so many thoughts said "count me in"..

So.. here's what the numbers remind me of..

One - My one and only husband - my dearest Prasanth :)

Two - I think of two and I think of how everything is paired in this world - yin yang, plus minus, male female.. you get it right..

Three - Right now, its been three days that I came to florida. Now.. you know why I am saying this right.. Otherwise, thats my birthday! The third of may... and i expect gifts and chocolates, remember that :P

Four - We are four sibs. My two elder sisters, my brother and then dearest me. :D I love my family!

Five - I have five nepehews. 3 of them live in florida. How lucky am I ? I wish the other two were here too..I am a proud aunt.

Six - somehow six always makes me think of sex.. think simple my friends.. no dirty thoughts..

Seven - Some day I want to visit atleast these 7 countries - China, Singapore, France, Venice, Sri lanka, Russia and Germany. If not the whole world.. atleast these..

Eight - I loved this number as a kid. It was so easy to write. haha.. and interesting. 'One' was too easy.. nothing special about a not so straight line.

Nine - If I had nine lives, I would chose to spend them in live different beings. First a tall, genius girl (just a different version of me) , then a tall, strong guy(to do lots of things I couldnt do as a girl), then definetely a bird (I always thought about it. But then I fear some hunter would kill me), a hippopotamus (they just fascinate me), an ostrich (how does it feel to hide your head in sand?), a big giant whale (awesome!), a dolphin (everbody loves dolphins right?), a tall, big, cuddly yet fearsome dog ('cos I have absolutely no sense of smell), last but not least a penguin (maybe cos I just want to see the north pole)

Ten - This is the toughest I think. I have no thoughts that relate to ten. The best I come up with is ten bucks! That used to be my precious pocket money long back.. now it just has no value at all.. we all think in thousands and lakhs.. money overwhelms me sometimes.. I don't know what I will do when I earn.

Ok guys.. I am done.. and I am really tired and spent out.. see thats what happens if you go out shopping in the afternoon.. you do come back with a happy heart but a limp body.. I hope you enjoyed the post.. I did.. Its long due.

I am not tagging anybody only 'cos I am not sure who has done it and who has not.. this is too old a tag.. If anyone is interested just post it onyour blog and let me know, I will update this post with links to yours so that people will read them too..

Have fun! I could send you some.. :D

Cheers!

Helloa!!

2009-09-21T22:58:00.000-04:00

I feel like I landed on another planet. Think about it
-- it was in 50F in jersey - the weather here is 90 outside and 70 inside. Isn't that enough to make me go hufff.. and humph.. ussshhh.. and issshhh..
-- I am visiting my sis and bro after exactly 9 months. The kids have grown so tall and really grown up.. I feel lost mid conversation. You would feel the same if you were to hear about bakugans, star wars, art projects (atleast here I dont fel all lost) and school grades.
-- I am having a really tough time adjusting to all the open space, sunlight, clouds and sudden rains. But, who is cribbing? Not me. I am in the best vacation state of the whole country.. I ought to be jumping for joy.
-- Veeru (my new nephew) is not here and I miss him! hha.. isn't that silly and funny.
-- I am overwhelmed with all the interest the kids show in me. Rishi (my bro's first kid) made his mom call me twice, 'cos he wanted to talk to bullatha. My sister's son thought it was all a dream. then he thought.. I was visiting for only a day and he grew all sad when he didnt find me in the morn ( I was there alright.. sleepy head).. My neice didn't even bother to talk to her mom when she saw me in the car, coming back from school.. I am the proudest aunt right now.
-- I am seriously contemplating a change in my name. something which rishi could pronounce. My name starts with the one letter he can't seem to stay properly - 'ra' . According to him, his name is 'ishi', his bro is 'vijaj' and I am .. I don't know yet. I haven't had the courage to ask him yet.!!
- I am drowning in love - the good kind. My mom can't stop feeding me, my dad cant stop asking me about my wellbeing and my sister is all around the house showing me this and that.. haha.. Isn't it wonderful?

I am having a great time. If only my other sis, who is in India, was with us, our family get together would be complete. :) I am soaking in all these good feelings people.. god knows when we will get this chance again..

In spite of my high spirits..I miss my husband. I know it sounds cliche.. but I really do. I can't wait for him to come to Florida, if only for a couple of days. I miss my house, I miss my bed.. I miss talking to my plants in the morning.. I even miss my computer and tv.. lol!! I sound like a ... I dont know what I sound like.. but I am sure I sound kind of silly.. hmm.. there she is with all the people she loves and who love her.. and she goes fretting and fuming about her pillow and plants!! Imagine that.. haha.. maybe such materialism and attachment to things are good once in a while. Atleast I dont miss my camera and ipod.. :D.. I have them with me..

I realised today morn that I have become very lethargic and dispirited being all alone at home for most part of the day. Even otherwise, there isn't a lot to be done in a two member household. You shoudl see my sis and her busy schedule. I am sure even the CEO of a company would feel sheepish in front of her.. She barely has breathing time in the day.. I am so proud of the way she is raising those two wonderful kids... but I am also worried about her health.. and I am so scared when I think I would have to do all this when its time for my kids.. absolutely amazing their schedule is.. My poor neice wants to sit and talk with me.. she wants to show me a ton of things.. she wants to sing for me.. she wants to discuss books.. oh! there are just so many thigns she wants todo.. she just does not have the time for them.. I see her and I wonder how I was when I was 12. Paint a picture of a kid dangling from the trees or lampposts.. wasting away time.. well.. I am glad I turned out ok!!

Hey friends.. this is my neice's laptop. Between my bro and sis there are enough laptops to start taking tuitions.. so I didn't get mine.. which I realise now is not a wise thing. This PC is invested with parental controls and I had a tough time going around them.. I am sorry i couldn't post comments on many blogs for the same reason.. Not to worry though.. I now have an admin login and pwd.. so I am all set.. atleast an hour every night.. I will try to squeeze in as much as I can in that time. :) It is very difficult to think about bloggin (I mean to think about what to post) when there are so many loving souls around u and so much catching up to do.. So..do not expect me to use too much of my brain.. it is full of charming little things :)

enjoy guys.. Keep blogging..

Family time

2009-09-20T19:05:00.004-04:00

Its good to be home. Well.. by home I mean where my family is right now - my parents, my sibs, their kids.. my cute new baby nephew. I cant keep saying new although he is already two months old. He looks so adorable, I couldn't keep my hands off him!! And he makes this sweet sad face when he is upset.. makes you want to love him all the more.

Its only been a couple of hours since I landed here, but I am enjoying every moment. My neice has grown in to this lovely little lady, I can't beleive I only saw her last christmas. We are great friends, and there is a long list of topics we want to talk about. :D She was quite mad at me that I did not come during her vacation, but I think she loves me too much to stay mad too long. I want her to write as a guest on my blog.. maybe later :)

My naughty nephew cleaned up his room for me, which you would agree is a great accomplishment if you only knew him. :)

My little nephew happily calls me "Bullatha" (his way of sayin bulli atha or small aunt) after he saw what I brought for him. He is a big fan of Thomas right now :) Tom tom..

I realise I missed my family a lot.. but now I miss my hubby! :( :(

I may be on vacation but my blog wont be... I am much too mcuh addicted to stop.. cant bother my paretns/sibs/kids with withdrawal symptoms. :D yup.. that severe..haha..

Have fun guys.. give your family an extra big hug from my side. will keep posting :)

Happiness and Awards in Bloggy-wood ;)

2009-09-18T01:00:00.006-04:00

Rahul set me thinking on happiness.He has that knack you know, he can twist everything and color it with philosophy. I like that he is called the skeptical observer, but maybe he should be called the skeptical philosopher.
I feel happiness is mostly relative isn't it? Something that makes me happy may not make others happy.
But there is one common thing on the blogging world that makes everyone happy. :D Yup. you guessed it right.. Awards (and of course followers..+comments.. +templates.. +friends.. +discussions.. but first back to awards.. )

My dear friend Sreya has once again sent a basketful of lovely awards my way.. I am thoroughly enjoying this award season on Blogger-wood. ;)

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower. ~Author Unknown

So let my happiness blossom into yours..

A beautiful award to these lovely bloggers and their blogs..

Bard - Unfathomable blogger with a very insightful, refreshing blog.

Pramoda - She is variety personified. I love to read her tidbits :)

Santhi - You will be amazed at what all this "child's mind" holds.

B - a beautiful, creative blogger

Vyshu - She thinks "Life is Beautiful".. so is she

Sreya - Muaaaaaaaaah..

Monica - Her blog reflects her wonderful personality

tink - Surely someone who appreciates and shows us all those wonderful ethereal things is a beautiful person

Parzi - Her thoughts, words and thus posts all reflect her intense beauty of thought.

Rane - She is a lovely little lady. will make you laugh, cry and take you for a ride on the road of emotions.

KasabianGirl -She is an awesome blogger - funny. cheerful, bright and witty..
**

I like all the blogs I follow. But some blogs, I just love

Monica - 'cos she writes from her heart..

Anu - she is my dearest friend.. and I want her to keep blogging.

KP - Parthasarathi sir pens words and spins stories which always make me want to reflect and think. Refreshing enjoyable blog. You will be hooked.

Rane - Need I say anymore. Her blog truly reflects her versatile personality and "Orchid" nature

Sugandha - Oh. I could give her blog this award just for her template :D But then that would be injustice to her delightful posts.

Eash - 'cos her blog is simple and sweet.. She is my friend too and I want her to keep blogging.

Tink - 'cos her blog takes me on a fantabulous trip to fantasy land.

Zeba - I am new at her blog.. but I love its feel already.

ED - 'cos she has the best humorous blog ever. And inspires to to laugh at my petty troubles.

Santhi - 'cos I miss my friend.

Vyshu - 'cos she is bubbly and sweet and so is her blog.

Sreya - consider your award doubled.

Hary at cartoonists - 'cos he makes me laugh. And spins such stories, you always end up visualizing the details..pretty hilarious I tell you.

Rahul - No marks for guessing. His blog is always so intense. As such, I do not participate in philosophical talk, but he weaves a story around his point and drags the reader into the discussion.

Hitaishi - happy birdie. true to her blog name, she spreads joy, is so sweet and straight forward.

Sans - 'cos she is something special.

Next comes an interesting award called blogger buddies. Now, I am not sure what the rules are for this one, but I am including all types - the bloggers who are my buddies already, those who are my buddies and then bloggers, and those who I wish were my blogger buddies.

Anu, Eash and Sans are my dear friends, who also share their thoughts on blogosphere.

Kasabiangirl, Sugandha, Vyshu, Rane, Monica, Sreya and Pramoda - they all make me wonder about the common likes and dislikes we all share.. many miles away and nothing in common otherwise! I thoroughly cherish their blog-friendship.

Kaka, Saad, Rahul, Hary, Ekam, Sruti, Hitaishi, Rims, Simba, Sumit, Sourav, Scarlet Pimpernel, dreamer gurl, Georgie K buttons and Hary - You guys are so cool! Will you be my blog buddies? Pretty please?
**
Hitaishi doubled my joy! She gave me two very special awards.. The beautiful blogger award, and the other one is a two in one award. Awesome! Thank you so much dear.

I love this mermaid. :D She looks so exquisitely romantic!
And let me pass it on to Sreya, Monica, Vyshu,

Sruthi, Rahul, Kasabiangirl, Sugandha, Pamoda, Hary, Kaka, Ekam, Zeba,
Parzi, Rane, Santhi, Anu and Sans
**
The next one is an extra special award to two of my friends. To Sreya, 'cos she thinks so lovingly about me, and to Anu, 'cos I have missed eating her brain. :D
To sans, 'cos she is a perfect blend of childishness and maturity. I can be the child when she acts all grown up, and I lecture her when she behaves like a little kid. I am sure you know which one occurs more frequently :D

Phew.. those are a lot of names.. but I feel so much better already..I hope I at least made you guys smile. I am sorry if I missed linking to any of your blogs..kindly bear with me... my brain has a server overload!!

PS - Guys, if any of you have already gotten the above mentioned awards, kindly consider them doubled. I wanted to let you know that I think you all are special, whether you received the award earlier or not.
Thank you for showing your support and appreciation. Enjoy the weekend! I am off to sunny florida to visit my parents and sibs.. Ciao soon guys..

Housefly, don't bother me.. I belong to Somebody

2009-09-17T00:34:00.000-04:00

“What annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain?”

I can not speak for that annoyed cat, but..let me think.. how about those that happen again and again? those that you want to avoid.. but one way or the other they find you and you are left with a really annoying thought - why me? pch pch..

Some really annoying things seem to happen often to dear old me. Take my word when I say I try to avoid them, but either my negligence or the irrepressible universe is to blame when such things keep happening again and again..Or maybe its the force of habit, conspiring with its friends, which defeats my already rare common sense.

Seriously, why is something so rare called common sense?

Like.. why does the blogger editor have a shortcut for publishing posts? And why should that shortcut be the 'enter' key? I exercise my brain and fret and fume and decide on a topic.. and then barely do I type it and press enter, blogger editor publishes my post! Think of how annoying that is, not once, not twice, it has happened to me almost four times. How would you like to come to my blog and see an empty post with just a topic line that says "lets talk stuff"? I am sure some of you have already seen that on google reader. Guys! I am not to blame.. blame blogger or the brilliant brain that designed the shortcut.

Why.. oh why can I not think of something very innovative or creative to write on my blog? The weird and infuriating thing is ideas sprouted in my head, like fleas coming to a banana, when I was preparing for TOEFL and GRE.. At that time, yours precious did not have the presence of mind to jot them down on a piece of paper. No. She was very pre-occupied with wrapping her mind around high school Math and English stuff. What a waste..

And then again, there is the question of my SOP. Lest you think I am an evergreen whiner, I finished it. But I feel it could be much better, much shorter and crisper.. much this and much that.. I keep postponing sending it although my friends tell me it is worth a look and has turned out quite good.. Maybe I should simply close my eyes and hit the send button.. or maybe the return key.. does not gmail have the same shortcuts for post/publish/send?

Sometimes I think, it is as easy to be annoyed as it is to be happy. :) Seriously. I could pick anything and crib about that.. but then probably I would hate myself..no fun if you do not like the way you think.

Unwillingly, I agree with the quote you know.. There are so many things that annoy me.. but I can not discuss them with everyone. In some cases I just bury them in the deepest vaults of my heart and try not to think of them often.. if they are less annoying and if their intensity is halved by sharing, I pick on my friends' brain. Thats the safest way to deal with things that annoy you - or you could always get over them.. destroy them..delete them.. or think of something nice and happy.. Somehow when I hear or think of this, I always think of that song in Sound Of Music.. You do know what I am talking about?

What do you do when something bothers you?

PS - Are you curious about the title? My niece used to sing it when she visited India for the first time. she was just 4 then, and houseflies terribly annoyed her. :)

Welcome!

2009-09-15T00:00:00.072-04:00

Today, I welcome two of my good friends to the blogosphere.

You didn't think I would pass up this great opportunity to talk about them right? Of course not. :D

It is funny sometimes how friendships start.. funnier still when years later you look back and think how they came this close to not blossoming at all.. By that time your friendship is so thick, you wonder how it could not have happened at all!! Surely, there was no other way it could have turned out right?

My two friends I talk about today came into my life in different conditions.

My bestest friend Anu has started a blog. I have mentioned her on my blog as one of my indispensable friends. But I never really spoke about her. Believe me, she is always one my mind when I blog, or otherwise.The first day we met each other as freshers in a class being ragged by a bunch of seniors, we each thought the other was all airs and pride. I was skeptical of her guts and she was skeptical of me. She is a tight lipped Arian. Takes an eternity for her to open up and talk. We never expected to be friends. Honest. But then we quickly realised there were a lot of things we shared in common, the main part being we fit nowehre in our class of 27. Half of the class was of people with rural background, who viewed everything and everyone with suspicion and skepticism. The other half was ultra hi-fi city born and bred lot who just wanted to get over and done with the course and go in search of brighter horizons. We were two misfits, me in their for the love of the subject, she in there 'cos of a twist of fate. Would you believe the first time we went out together was for her haircut! Yup. In a big five star hotel. LoL! you should have seen the look on my face when we went into the hotel. haha.. great times Anu. We sealed our friendship over a game of volleyball between Brazil and...err.. I think it was france or many germany. I am not sure. I only remember the guys were all tall hot hunks.. ooooh! We grew thick friends quickly and by the end of the first sem, we were inseparable. I say with conviction that she made my MS bearable. I had the most fun in class and after-class with her. Sitting on the beach, with ice cream, chat or just some chocolate talking endlessly.Bunking college to go to movies or shopping..talking with her in class.. lol! I miss those times.. esp after getting married and leaving India. I would like to say the country help no charm for her after I left and she ran away to indonesia.. but then she might hit me on the head.. so I will just say we are miles apart.. and if not for the internet, we would pine away in love.

She is a rock solid friend. Never fails to lend me her shoulder when I need.. or laugh at my silly jokes.. or share a moody bad day with me. Of course, she is my best friend and if you let me talk I will go on and on about her. So let me just end it here, welcome to the blogosphere dearie.. I am terribly excited to read your blog. I miss our endless talks :D..This is for you :) I miss you.

The other friend I welcome is Easwari or Eash as I call her.She is a sweet, kind soul and has already dropped by a few of your blogs I believe. She was my undergrad classmate, the youngest in our class and also the tallest! she still looms quite tall over me.. so you know why I am jealous. To top it all, she even had the longest hair. And she would sit in front of me sometimes.. haha.. It helped when I wanted to hide behind her tall frame and escape the lecturers line of vision.. lol.. The funny part is, we weren't that great buddies in college. Somewhere between friends and classmates. But over the past few years, Internet has bolstered our friendship and we have shared many a thought, she in London, me in India and then USA. This is a trying time for her as she bids goodbye to the land of her old dreams and goes back to India to nourish new ones. I have found a friend in her and I am very glad about it. She is an honest, hardworking girl. I hope she enjoys blogging and has tons of fun. She is another simple girl and it took us forever to make her smile in pics :) .. Her blog echoes her persona - sweet, simple and thoughtful. I wish her all the best. Keep blogging Eash..

This is for you Eash and Anu.. and for anyone who is new to blogging, or needs a little sunshine :).

Points to be noted :)

2009-09-14T12:50:00.000-04:00

I started this post with a heavy heart. But I couldn't get myself to post it. So, I just let it sit in draft for a day to collect my thoughts.

I almost lost a blogger friend to grudgement recently (I made that word up. That suits the point. Its a lot like holding grudge and passing judgement on someone 'cos of it).Well, in reality, I guess, there was something amiss for a long time. I kept thinking my friend lost interest and neeeded some space.. I didn't pester. Turns out, there was something really wrong.

Now in this part there was a long paragraph about what happened and why I am hurt and blah blah blah. Very high schoolish. I do not want to embarass him now, and go into details. Lets just say, we cleared the air finally. I am glad we are talking now, but it should never have happened nor been dragged for so long a time. However, I come away from the whole experience wise and I want to discuss few things with everyone who visits this blog.

I am not so good with formalities. I try to keep the atmosphere informal, 'cos I feel formality stifles friendship. We are all bloggers. Some anonymous, some not. But there is no hierarchy of class, age (maybe sometimes, if you fall in the elderly category, I always try to address you with a Sir), caste or race.Sometimes, its about intellect, but I say is there a steadfast measure of intellect? How do you relate to a bloggers thoughts? Through words and the feelings behind them. We all exchange thoughts and hope to leave from a conversation after a healthy discussion, a good feeling, a sweet smile, an echange of ideas.. or in my case a good friendship, if only blogging style. I strongly believe everybody has something to offer. If only we keep an open mind.

If you wish to maintain a formal course of talk with me, please do let me know. I will try my level best. I will think of you as this highly intellectual professor, and be on my toes forever.

In being informal and friendly, sometimes I may tease you. If you are ever offended by anything I say, please be honest with me and let me know right away. It is my humble request that you talk about it right here, in my blog. Or, in yours. But let me know when I have to take a look. Do not hold grudges and sleep on it for so long that you lose your peace of mind and make me lose mine one fine day.

I appreciate your honesty and frankness. I promise whatever it is I will post your comment and talk about it. Cross my heart. I never run away from my faults. I believe we learn many things from mistakes.After all, nobody is perfect. Me, all the more less. I always respond to your comments.Even if a little late. In me you will always find a willing listener. My listening part and talking part often clash, but they resolve the winner depending on the situation.

People, please remember. This is not a spoken word. However elaborately we write, it will fall short of a face to face talk.(Atleast in my case. I speak only for my blog) It is not backed by facial expressions, body language or gesture to drive the point home. It can not convey the emotions behind the words as vividly as it would if you were in front of me. I suppose that is why I write such long posts, 'cos I try to be as explicit as I can be in expressing myself. When you read something, you always have to take it in context, keeping in mind the person, the topic etc. But often, you color it on your own. Something might be lost in this, something might be gained. It is always better to clarify it before forming an opinion of the not so kind types.

Maybe this post is a little too much senti-dripping.. I think I even find it a little self-indulgent.. I can not help it. I try hard to be friendly with people. When the person I like misunderstands me, I just feel so sad. I try so hard to clear the air, if I am given a chance. If I am not, there is not much I can do about it, except mourn the loss of a good friend. This post is me trying to tell you to give me chance before leaving me behind..

Ok. Enough said. I just had to say it. Lest I babble something the next time, and someone else is hurt by my mindless ramblings.

Enjoy your Monday, folks.. Wherever you might be.... :)

Whoo hoo..

2009-09-12T16:43:00.001-04:00

Did you see them? Surely, you couldn't have missed them right.. They were right there? Bright and right in the sidebar? Two new awards. Yup All mine. :D It rained awards on me last night.. I am so happy. :D whoo hoooo

One is from Kasabiangirl. If somehow you haven't known about her blog till now, go peep in right now. She has an interesting blog (I just now gave her the intersting blog award, from here See the site too, it has some really cool awards for the ones willing to experiment - A cow fart, dead cockroach, sloppery kiss!!)

Back to KG. KG is one of my early blogger friends.She writes from her heart and it is quite insightful and interesting to read her blog. As she is not jobless like me, ;), nowadays she doesn't post quite as often as before and I do not to miss any of her posts. Her blog speaks of her as a cheerful, bubbly person with a warm, kind, thoughtful nature. She gave me this special award in a special language I don't understand, but google told me it means "Very good your blog" heehee. I suppose that means "your blog is very good".. I am thrilled to be bestowed this award by a blogger I like so much.

Then there is dear Sreya.She decided to stick me permanently up cloud nine. As if her Superior Scribbler award wasn't enough, she added a "unique blog of the year" award to it. I am there. .high up in the clouds. I am unique in her list and for that alone she deserves a Slobbery kiss. :D Of course, it also helps she is so sweet..

I am not sure where.. but in one blog someone asked someone else (I read it still half-asleep on my bed this ~~afternoon~~ morning. So I am not sure of the particulars, and too lazy to go searching for them. If you know what I am talking about, do tell me. I will link to that post and comments) what the point was in giving these awards.. and why does it matter anyway? Well.. it doesn't matter 'cos there is no Blog-Booker Prize as such. In such a case, why appreciate anything at all? It makes no diference to someone if you think something is bad or good.. right?

But it matters b'cos every person includes a little bit of his/herself, and a lot of their thoughts into their blogs. It is not easy to write - not unless you were born with it or have worked hard to be up to the level.. or simply enjoy writing. Everybody blogs for a different reason.. but the most common is to share their thoughts, words, actions and feelings.. Not b'cause RWP(real world people) are not supportive or enough, but sometimes it helps to write and clear your mind. (like me) and it doesn't hurt when you find like-minded people.. or look at the whole world through another person's thoughts, quite refreshingly, might I add. It is a wonder that so many people are willing to share their life experiences.. make us laugh/cry/enjoy about the everyday things in life. What then is wrong in showing your appreciation for somebody's work? What then is wrong in being supportive? Take it from me, it means a lot to be noticed for your train of thoughts (not my blog silly, I talk about the way you think). A short comment from a complete stranger that goes something like "Good job! Well written!" is enough to make my day. And these awards thrill me so much!

Well.. do you think that someone was either ridiculing us on being too blog-materialistic? Maybe he was being too skeptical 'cos nobody gave him an award.. I am sure it was him.. but then I might be wrong. A marathon of movies stretching much much past midnight does that to you sometimes in the morning. :)

Keep blogging guys.. It is an amazing experience. There are so many good blogs out there.. it is really difficult to only chose a few.. I fear, if I keep looking, I might like them all.. and then my addiction would know no bounds (I am with you Sreya. Lets both check into a blogger rehab, although I dont see how it would help us. We would come back and blog about it.. haha. Or maybe there is a Bloggers Anonymous somewhere?Tell me about it.). I became a compulsive blogger.. pch pch.. :D No regrets. Thats my motto. :P

UPDATE update - looks like I need to wake up fully before I post.Or stop being scatterbrained.
I just saw this here - @Pramoda's blog. Lest she think I aped her post, I am writing this little note. Pramoda, I had no clue you wrote on this topic. Looks like I saw the comment at your blog - which I realised only after seeing your post. So, don't mind.. ok?
For the rest of you guys.. read her post too.. Its very well written and gives a beautiful explanation of the same topic.