I once saw a friend steer away from the good path, which might have ended up causing his mother misery. I intervened and brought it to its speedy end. The result would have been the same either way, but I think my intervention caused him problems he had foreseen, but was not prepared for.
He is happy now, but after that he stopped talking to me, responding to my mails, answering my calls. He never even said 'Good Bye' to me. I do not know if his then lover-now wife is behind it. I hope not. I know now that he is on the same continent, we still have the same circle of friends. And I can not bring myself to forgive him or forget it. Sometimes, I do forgive him, but I can not forget it. Or vice-versa.
He was a good friend. I tried to help him, and help I did, maybe not in the way he had imagined. I do not regret what I did, but I would have appreciated a 'Good Bye'. Friends owe friends at least that much, don't you think?.
I have a small circle of close friends. A really small circle. I could count them on my fingers, and I might probably not need more than one hand. I am friendly with a lot of people, but these close friends are the ones I am most in touch with. That I hold close to my heart. He was one of them. Maybe that is why it hurts so much more.
Come to think of it, this has happened to me once before too. A good friend of mine - this time a girl - decided to elope with her boyfriend, just few weeks before her wedding was all set with another guy. When I pleaded with her not to do this to her family, and to talk it out with them, her boyfriend decided I was not healthy to their relationship. And he made her stay away from me. But at least, she had the sense to say good bye. So I wished her well. I think of her often. But I have no clue what she is doing now.
I realize I have been on the other side of the fence as well. Treated friends badly when they tried to make me see some sense - but then I was a hot headed teenager. That is a good excuse right? And I have reached out to them later and apologized thanks to social networking. That was not so easy as you might think :)
7 comments:
I think when 'friends' move away for a perceived injustice or hurt done to them,they rarely say goodbye unless they write/shout in anger.
Loss of friends due to misunderstanding is always painful and has to be accepted with equanimity.Sometimes they comeback when they realise their faults
Yes it really hurts when your friends disappear in thin air without saying a word.
Reaching out to friends when you make mistakes..is something really good.
@KP- :) sometimes, there are no answers. just silent speculations.
@SC- yes. its really difficult too, and takes a while for you to swallow your pride and realise your mistake. :)
Who knows better than me...I can understand what you might be feeling...As they say, never expect anything...None owe you anything...Just do ur karma...
But then, some relations, we do expect and get hurt...You do remember my post on my friend, naaa...
All that I do now is...Just ignore and go forward...Somewhere deep inside me I know...When I havent done anything wrong, God would surely show him/her the sense and someday they would come back and do what they should have done long back...
oh yeah! how can anyone forget your friend :)
your words are comforting J. I know too that what I did wasn't wrong. And when I did realise my mistakes in other cases, I have tried hard to make amends.
When I was in the 10th, my best friend and I had a fall out because I wasn't very tactful in telling her I thought her then boyfriend was a tool. A year and a half later they broke up and she told me I was right and we managed to patch things up. I don;t think we openly said good bye though back then...we just kinda stopped communicating with each other. Touchwood we are still good friends now despite living miles away.
i am glad she did. and like i said, it takes a lot of courage to accept when you are wrong. thanks for stopping by!
Post a Comment